Wellness Tip for Peace: To avoid confusion, be real. If we come to meet the person causing us confusion, we leave our imagination behind. We face the reality of knowing the truth. We learn to see everything in clarity...

Because there will be no confusion if we face reality directly from the source of our anxiety. Meeting the person personally and directly will make us confirm the truth in our imagination. When imaginations are broken down into reality, we leave the superficial world and we come down to our senses in the real world. As meeting progress and cards are laid one by one, we come to know the truth. The sooner we do this, the easier for us to clear our mind. And as Sir Yehudi Menuhin wrote "It cannot be done just by imagining what would it be like to do it. There is only one way to do it, and that is to do it"

There’s nothing wrong in choosing to remain single or be in a relationship. Both have their merits in their own right. At the end of the day, whether heartbroken or emotionally strong, every person learns to flow with the ebb of time and find happiness in life. But the very completeness of life is a definition that is subjective to personal experiences.

"While every single guy will gladly embrace singlehood with open arms, as opposed to the emotional roller-coaster of a relationship, what no one will tell you is that no matter how blissful life is, there will always be something amiss without love in the picture. The benefits of being single are plentiful, but they cannot oust the feeling of being needed or loved. While most people are upfront about their feelings and can quit a relationship with dignity still left, they’d agree that living on their own can never mirror the deep satisfaction of being loved. Singlehood is freedom no doubt, but enjoying this freedom alone can become tedious in the long run. After all, every bird takes flight only to come back home to its caged confines.
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'via Blog this'How Life Really Works for Singles - Yahoo! She Philippines:

Join! PEACE VIGIL 2012-2013 Sustainable Peace for a Sustainable Future by Hosting a Dialogue @ home @school @workplace and Harness your Leadership through "The Art of Peace Leadership" workshop. Call 0929.519.7788 for more details. An Interfaith Intercultural Interracial Climate Change Peace Building Adaptation Campaign of Sailing for Peace

Join! PEACE VIGIL 2012-2013 Sustainable Peace for a Sustainable Future by Hosting a Dialogue @ home @school @workplace and Harness your Leadership through "The Art of Peace Leadership" workshop. Call 0929.519.7788 for more details. An Interfaith Intercultural Interracial Climate Change Peace Building Adaptation Campaign of Sailing for Peace

Wellness Tip for Peace: Friends are forever. Honesty to your thoughts and politeness to communicate can keep it stable.

It is presence even in absence, instead of absence even in presence. We are all busy and erratice because we have to work for our living. We are lucky enough if we have a friend or set of friends who are there for us when we need them. To keep the friendship away from malicious intention and impurities requires deep honesty, and the most effective way to say our innermost thoughts in a manner that our friends wants it to be. Guarding our emotions not to hurt our friend is ok but sometimes we cannot help it, especially if it will already requires us to sacrife our principle or "what our conviction" to certain issues are. We do not need to lose our self just to keep a friend because later on, this filed-up emotion of irritation will erupt like a volcano! So say it, be firm with it, BUT before you do it, know deeply the personality of your friend. Usually the easiest way to know a friend's principle is to ask them a hypothetical question, the first answer that he/she utters without reservation is actually the thought that he/she has. Well, only you knows if your friend is lying or not. But you will know on the extemporaneous and outright answer that your friend will utter! Be sensitibe and always check your presence of mind and not just the presence of your spirit in the situation.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Love by nature is complicated because our personalities are also complicated. Survive the course, be still and enjoy it!

One practical advice is to take away emotions, and you will be at peace. But that is only intended for robots, because even humanoids can get hurt. Emotions makes us alive! Loving is a very good emotion, and also the worst emotion if not handled very well. It is the most passionate and the hottest of all the emotions available. The amount of love that a person gives varies according to his/her personality. The personality which is basically dimensional in nature as a by-product of the person's DNA, environment and choices made. That's why love, literally is complicated. Relax and find ways to work on it. Learning how to love will make you busy, alert, and smart. In fact, it can release the best and worst in you. Come to think of it, love teaches us how to survive life, literally, in the practical sense of it!

Wellness Tip for Peace: In every dark corner, we need light. Be the light. You shine because they need you!

What is ironic can work to your advantage. Lights can be seen because there's darkness. If you are enlightened and you carry your wisdom to solve even the most darkest situation, you will shine. Maintain the purity of your heart and the light of life will pass through to enlighten the pathways of others who are lost. Take time to lead others who needs your guide. Be firm, clear and direct to the point. Do not nurse their emotion like a nanny, but teach them to be a leader, independent and emotionally stable. Take care of your thoughts and keep it clean, free from the harmful radicals found in our planet. Detoxify, de-stress, and be ready to open your heart to love humans and animals for what they are. Inspire everyone to embrace the culture of peace. Do not be passive, do not be aggressive, but be peacefully active in deeds! You can do it! Trust your light and keep it!

Wellness Tip for Peace: People persecute each other so its natural that you are also persecuted. Do not be disturb by them. They have thieir own problems to solve. Focus on your work and keep it holy.

Your actions shows your character. You will not gain respect by what you are saying, but by what you are doing. Keep your self holy, away froom intrigues and rumor mongerers. If you are attacked, face it, say your point professionally. End the discussion and go back working. Do not spend too much time with people who complain because those people need a therapists. If you are therapist, go ahead and plunge yourself, anyway you will be paid by your service. But, if you are not, step back to avoid draining yourself. Those people doesn't deserve your time yet, while they are sick. Recommend them to an anger management group or keep your silence by praying for their soul to attain enlightenment. Learn how to delegate your peace work by endorsing a difficult person to those who can handle them personally on a one-on-one basis. Your responsibility is to influence peace work to a multitude of people and you cannot afford to drain yourself by one hardcore "Hater". Take these as a test of your patience, virtue and professionalism to your career as a Peace Leader. You are a leader who knows how to delegate with grace, politeness and courtesy.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Healthy body weight helps maintain a healthy brain. kidney and heart. Make yoga, walking and sports a daily routine to protect your body and your environment.

Dieting is not a solution to reduce weight. Shift to healthy lifestyle is the solution to clean the body and clean the air we breath (less carbon, good air). The habit of not smoking, eating veggies and fruits 6x a day, or eating one big plateful of fibers instead of carbohydrates, regular detoxification, and taking long walks, or jogging, practicing the silence of yoga, playing sports of your choice are few of the basic lifestyle that humans must do to keep the earth healthy and peaceful. Ideally, all children should start this, but if one is already an adult, the maximum age that one should start is 30yrs old to give the body more time to adjust and master the new lifestyle. So, that he/she can still enjoy long life instead of dying at the age of 55yrs old. The shift to healthy lifestyle also prevents depression as the body's metabolism is always busy to clean its toxins and burn its fats, naturally with less expenses and less trouble to the environment. This shift will also make humans better citizens of their country by helping their country clean the air. It also teaches humans to be independent, responsible and discipline.

Wellness Tip for Peace: You exude the light, because within you there is peace

Your subconcious is very powerful. Your thoughts can control you. Let the light within you grow and shine in full bright. Take care of your peace within. Reconcile thoughts that rattles your personality. Keep your private time and silence. Choose your partners wisely at home, at work, at play. Know your boundaries, and be firm to set your personal discipline in maintaining a healthy heart. Cultivate your emotions by learning people's reactions. When you are hurt, don't take it personal. No one wants to harm you for as long as you do not plan anything to harm them. Be careful with your thoughts for your voice will speak it and your body will show it. Thus, keep yourself pure, always and forever. Do not rely on other people. Be responsible to your own safety. Remember, love begets love, and hate begets hate. When you feel you cannot face it, sleep, recharge, eat well, get some fresh air, walk,until your back to your senses. Life is good, and we are the one who makes our subconcious mind to think good. Do not forget that in everyone you meet, you are precious and one of a kind, because you are their gift! You are the angel that exude light!

Wellness Tip for Peace: Loyalty is a pre-requisite to commitment. To pursue it requires total confidence and submission

The "Word of Honor" is man's powerful contract to his/her fellow human. Once we set our heart into something and we utter our "word of honor" to it, we need to submit ourselves fully to what we've already said. When we can be loyal to it, then we are committed. No one will question our commitment. Our personality will be consistent and we gained the trust of those who follow us. Being loyal to our word of honor will also simplify everything as we focus only to what we've said. Anxities will be less by all parties concerned. Time will be use wisely as discussions will no longer eat the time alloted for work implementation. The "Word of Honor" is a conviction made into a decision. The person who can be loyal to this is like a Military General who gives his/her word to his/her troops. The troops will act on the word given without hesitation and in full obedience because the General gained their trust.

Wellness Tip for Peace: On Peace Leadership, befriend people with strong faith of the future. Include them in the ranks and take them in as partners.

Time management a necessity to professionalize everything, particularly in settling conflict. Choose people with positive outlook to strengthen your force in handling the pessimists. Invite people who have strong faith in human strength to overcome problems. People who knows how to pray and yet are also detached to their obsession in their prayer requests. People who have free minds, brave dispositions and willing to take risks, and yet knows how to discipline themselves to always work in "legal" means. The free thinkers who maintained their virtues, not out of obligations but out of personal decision and conviction. As a peace leader, the road is hard and heavy, and we can only take the light baggage. Choose your partners wisely.

Wellness Tip for Peace: "We are here to love, to heal, to comfort, to feed the hungry and to give hope to the despairing

...We belong to the world because we are born to the world." We are humanist, we understand the needs of our fellows. We know human weaknesses, and we accept that we also have our own. We know what it means to have nothing. When we share what we have, we do not do it out of sacrife, but because our heart tells us to do it. We respect the dignity of the poor by helping them start a dignified life. We educate the poor for them to be capable to have a decent job, raise their own family in a comfortable home, and make a living legally. We do not make the poor dependent to us; we teach them how to be independent. We do not make policies that will oppressed the poor. We do not discriminate, neither do we pity them for having less than what we have. We accept the fact that poor people exist because circumstances lead them to that state of life. Thus, we find ways to help their miseries. We seek their talents, we harness their skills, we educate. We give them legal jobs and we pay their services professionally.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Stay away from peole that will make you angry, Keep distance to those who kill your character. Protect your personhood.

Peace is kindness but not stupidity. Uncontrollable anger is bottled up frustration to the person whom one expect to provide what he/she wants. Another reason is chemical reaction and/or personality clash. Let time heal the wounds and let nature take its natural course. What is important is you do not lose your personhood, your dignity as a human being. Take time to study the person from afar, and learn from your mistakes on what went wrong to the relationship. The differences maybe cultural, not personal. There was miscommunication, because everything happened in a rush. Maybe both of you are not ready to meet yet, because you are not on the same page. Maybe both of you are pressured on what the sociey expect things should be. You can analyze the whole situation from start until now, and you will know on what is the real conflict that made the two of you fight. The soultion, is to make a phone call to the person and tell him/her what you need, and not on what you want. Make him/her understand your needs without demands. Appreciate the person for being there for you. Boost his/her morale and confidence sincerely by telling him/her on what made you happy when you are with him/her. Ask yourself, can you live without this person? Your answer maybe, yes. But ask yourself again, do you choose to live without this person for the rest of your life? If your answer is NO, then, do something with your anger. Do not kill him/her in your heart

Wellness Tip for Peace: Respect Authority. Lead your leaders by presenting your alternatives with politeness and grace until they embrace your solution

Leaders have their own vision, and their authority will make their constituents follow them. If your critical mind do not agree, present an alternative and do not rebel. Avoid assasinating the character of people in authority to stop the rebellion process. Know the personality of your leader and know your personality very well. Find the point of commonality where you can work together. Your differences are normal, and your conflict is healthy because it defines each individuality. What matters is you can lead the settling of conflict without losing each other in the process. Be polite. Learn the skills of effective communication and exhaust all legal means to negotiate. Your winning is not limited to the end point of getting what you want, but the whole process itself. Your mission is to educate your leader on the alternatives, the other side of the issue, the other way to solve a problem. As you handle the whole process, be the solution provider and not the problem-maker. And at the end of each day, rest well and detach yourself from the issue, because you need to replenish yourself by geting much sleep you need for your mind to function as you enter the next day of negotiation. And do not forget to nourish your body to get you through the pressure you got yourself into.Lead the whole process, eventually, you will enjoy your politeness and everything is a piece of work leading to peace at work!

Wellness Tip for Peace: Your home is where your heart is because there you've found your family who respect your personality and love you unconditionally beyond material gains.

Your happiness is the mirror of your place where you are right now, if it is a home or just a simple dwelling address. Home is the place of unconditional love and respect for one's identity. While a dwelling is just a place where you sleep, eat, etc with the rest of other humans. Either you are connected biologically or by circumstance, doesn't matter and doesn't define your family. Family is not limited to biological connections. You can create your own family, where all members value the individuality of each and everyone and will be there for mutual support in times of sickness, trouble, and misfortunes. The concept of family as the basic unit of society is founded on man's survival way back in the stone age where humans live for survival and to defend themselves as a group in times of danger. Whoever jives to the group is part of the family inside the camp where humans live. Eventually their relationships were classified through the introduction of religion. Religion has expanded and also limited the concept of family with the promotion of their corresponding dogma and sacraments. Read more of the history to know more. But, if we look deeper into our being, the limited concept of the family can also limit our sight and horizon. To help expand our horizon is to not limit the concept to biological connections but to the inter-relationships inside your residence. Ony you knows if it is a home or just a house. Check where your heart is and you will know where your home is.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Do not follow the apathetic; lead them instead because you pursue life and you care for their souls

People who love to talk negative issues without providing solutions are digging their own grave. Their peace within is shattered and so nothing is left to share the peace with others. Lead them instead to be inspired on the beauty of life. Provide the balance by not following the negative path. Be the sunshine in every dark corner. Provide the solution. Let them see the problem as an opportunity. Show them their potential, and let them realize how capable they are to live their life to the fullest. They are the negative, you are the positive, thus balance is maintained to keep the movement in our little planet. When you are drained with their negativity, take time to go out, feel the air, recharge and rejuvenate. And at the end of the day, before you sleep, forgive them for any offense they made to you, and you for getting angry with them. Do not worry, time has brought you together with these people, you have a mission to fulfill. Just go and use your best skills and lead them to light. You are there for a noble reason, relax and enjoy it!

Wellness Tip for Peace: Maintain your taste for style, do not compromise, but live only according to what you can afford

Temptations are everywhere. Beautiful clothes, jewelries, shoes, bags, fancy restaurants, expensive get-away, all to satisfy the feast of human senses. You love life and you want to get the best out of it! You've got taste, discriminating taste according to hgh-end standards, and so it's hard for you to just accept on what is available.You don't have to, actually, you just need to widen your horizon and seek where you will not compromise yourself, but you will only live according to what you can afford. If it means moving to a new place, changing job that suits your talent and skills, living away from the city, etc. There are a lot of choices beyond the walls of what you see infront of you right now. The important thing is you are not stuck to do something because you put yourself into a situation that your responsibility is beyond your healthy capacity, physically, emotionally, mentally. The most valuable property you have is yourself, because that is your mover, your workforce. You should be healthy and well in mind, body and spirit. Contemplate, take time for yourself, only you knows the best for your future because you know your strengths and your weaknesses. So, choose your passion wisely. Be smart on where to put your heart, for your passion lives where your heart is.

Wellness Tip for Peace: The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. When face with a difficulty, focus on the target on where you want to go and what do you want to achieve. Do not run around the bushes. Find the direct solution and hit your target

Instinct will tell you how to go about it. All you need is to focus your energy and trust your instinct. Other people will guide you, tell you what they want, or worst command you to what they think is right. But only you knows what you need and how you can get it based on your capacity. In everything you do, be firm to what you believe in. And as you travel down the road of life, be safe emotionally, mentally and physically. For you know that the best protector of your destiny is your self. If you know how to take care of yourself, then you can be responsible enough to take care of other people. Lead yourself peacefully and you can practice the art of peace leadership to other people.

Wellness Tip for Peace: The key is to share the power, and share the leadership in order for them to cooperate. Practice responsible democracy where people will own the idea to resolve conflict and to fulfill the duties that goes along with it.

Ask them what they want and show them how to get it. Listen first, to know their personalities. Let them speak and open up their minds. Your responsibility is to settle the conflict and not to assess or judge them as opponent. Take the person as pure innocent human ready to make peace. In the process of negotiating, be sincere and real to your thoughts. Relay the consequences if any, of what they demand from you. But, present the problem as an opportunity. Because it will only be a problem, if there is a solution. If you have an idea on how to solve the problem, let the pesron own your idea by asking him/her questions on what he/she wants until he/she finds your idea his/her idea. Once you convince him/her to own the idea as his/her, congaratulations, welcome to the first step of your peace negotiation. And the rest are skills to be harnessed. Read more as I give you the Wellness Tips for Peace Leadesrhip here or through the other site Peace Vigil 2012 @ www.sailingforpeaceworldwidepeacevigil.blogspot.com

Wellness Tip for Peace: For Mind & Body, Yoga is good for physical and emotional flexibility, focusing and healing.

visit http://www.ivillage.com/yoga-which-type-right-you/4-b-274054?nlcid=dt|08-01-2012|

Wellness Tip for Peace: All war is based on deception; while Peace is based on truthfulness. Be Real. When you are near, be near. Be present and start the dialogue.

Do not bait the enemy and lure him to come. Be real. Be sincere. Open yourself and be willing to reconcile truthfully. Because your intention is not to waged war, but to make peace, that is why you exist at the moment when the person already opened themselves to reconcile. Do not have hidden agenda, if you are really true to your commitment to reconcile. Otherwise, if you cannot be loyal to your commitment to reconcile, do not engage in a dialogue yet. Cool your head, balance your thoughts, and convince yourself why you need to do this. Peace making is not a sacrifice, but a smart alternative to survive and co-exist in the small planet. Peace making is the sharing of space legally and ethically. If there are issues that were not settled in the initial phase of negotiation, do not lose hope, because it is a process. When you choose peace, there is no short cut. It can really be very taxing and emotionally draining, when you are not into it yet. So take time to talk to yourself first, make peace to all your conflicts on why you need to reconcile before you proceed and talk to others aside from yourself. Remember, actions speaks louder than words, and you cannot fake your sincerity, for it will always reflect on the output of your peace negotiation.

Wellness Tip for Peace: What is the use of bravery, if one does not have knowledge; and what is the use of knowledge, if one is not brave? To work for peace requires both to proceed.

Wisdom are accumulated knowledge, actual experiences, and intelligence processed through the analytical mind. Wisdom doesn't come handy, it will take time. While bravery can be a survival instinct according to one's DNA. Bravery is an act of impulse. Peace work requires both, and not without the other, they are partners for peace making to work. Knowledge of the enemy and the risk to face the opponent are measurements of success if peace is possible in the situation, as of the moment. The peace worker will "lead" the "time" for the opponent to make peace. Timing is dependent both on the available knowledge at hand and extent of bravery. Bravery can be harnessed through learning of the opponent's mind. Applying both with sincere intention and commitment of the peace maker to heal and not to kill will eventually, in due time, transform the relationship of enemies to friends.

Wellness Tip for Peace: When heat increase, impurities falls off and we make the best of steel. Thus, flexibility under pressure makes our virtue more solid and firm

This also goes along with the process of ageing, and not unless we go back to our age of innocense, we will not enjoy the coming of old age. We had life, the best of it, or the worst of it, and still we come out alive! A proof that we are not disposable into one's eye, but is a steel that was purified by the heat of time. Pressures made us harder, braver, and wiser. That is why we are ready to face the coming of the eventual end of our maturity. When we already gained enough wisdom from what we had in life, that is also the opening of the door of going back to our innocense. Do not resist it, if you feel that you are reminiscing the past, yet you still have the zest to go forward and see the future. Like caught in the middle of timeline, it's either you want to get old, or you want to be young forever. Keep calm, stay focus, be attuned with yourself and avoid loud and obnoxious people, because they are vexations to your spirit. In this moment that you've reached the middle of your timeline, or maybe near the end of the line, cherish the moment, recall the good memories, and forgive the bad ones. You deserve to be here where you are right now because you are GREAT! You did your job very well in this small planet, and you did it according to your capacity and talents and blessings (good and bad) that you got. You've used your talent, skills and intelligence wisely. Whatever it is that you were not able to do yet, PRAY that God consider giving you another chance. Submit yourself to prayer and wait for the blessings to come. Because if the prayer is good for your soul, it will be granted, if not God will be the one to find the way not to make it happen. So enjoy every moment of your life now as you submit yourself to God like a child ready to be there where God wants you to be, with full trust and obedience. No regrets, no worries because you know that everything happens because you did your best and God took over the rest.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Don't say goodbye because it cuts everythig. It makes people numb & cold. Don't cut the communication line; don't go away. Stay and be a friend still.

But this time, respect the friendship. Guard it against malice. Protect the friendship because it is already fragile, broken, that was just fixed by two consenting adults, you and your friend. Friends are forever for as long as conflicts were settled. Most of the time, conflicts were brought by uncontrollable passions in accidental settings. Uncontrollable because the chemical reaction is so strong that weakness overpowers the strength of character. Accidental because, as friends, no one would ever think of doing something bad to his/her friend, but rather the circumstances lead them to the situation where their discipline to be tamed were tested. Friendship was broken because both succumb to temptation, which is beyond on what should friendship should be, that is pure, free from malice, and as it is called brothers and sisters. We do not talk about friends "with benefits" here because that is romantic relationship already where the lovers eventually became the best of "best friends" after being just "best friends" or "plain friends". Pure and simple friendship for life is possible, for as long as both agrees to respect its purity and innocense. Friendship will always be tested, but it is the honesty to one self that can determined its purity. If the intentions are not pure, then it is not friendship, but business. Business has a price to pay and deals to negotiate while friendship do not have that. It is in friendship where one can actually experience the practice of pure intimacy and "holistic" unconditional love. Save the friendship, if you can, do not say goodbye, because you care for the person, more than anything else, beyond physical and material gains, beyond fulfilling your fantasy, beyond what you need, you "simply just care" for the well-being of your friend, that is why you want to take care of him/her for life!

Wellness Tip for Peace: You are at your best when you have none. Because this is the time that your mind push you to produce something out of nothing. Your survival skill is at its peak. Remember: "Strength is not the accumulation of tension with all the accompanying worry, anxiety and frustration. Strength is what comes if you build from zero"

What you need right now is to focus your energy to what you need and not what you want. Detailed needs with a schedule on when you need it. Jot down the essentials and trash down the fancy. Understand very well that you only need to rely on yourself and not on other people to survive. No one can protect you at its best but yourself. So know your areas of responsibilities. Face your obligations one step at a time. Stay if you can still work with the people around you to fulfill your duty. But, if not, and it causes you to lose your morale, leave politely and find your own road to recovery. What you need to protect first and foremost is your confidence, your morale, your being, because that is your investment. Your self and the virtues you carry are your only cards needed to proceed. Now as you gained your focus, find your own private corner, make your plans, and remind yourself not to be obsessed with your plan by praying diligently to guide you on what is really the best plan for you. Maintain your focus, keep on praying for people to come to be your working partners as you take the road of recovery. Move, walk tall, keep your head straight, feet on the ground, moving forward without fear. Trust that whole situation will lead you to something bigger. Your sufferings are not punishment but trainings to prepare you for bigger responsibilities.

Wellness Tip for Peace: You are bless with word, speak. You are bless with knowledge, share. You are bless with beauty, inspire. You are bless with authority, lead.

Take away the vanity of looks, position, wealth, status, intelligence, talents, skills, etc. Take away everything and what is left is a mere human using a space. What for? What is the purpose? A human may ask, why am I here? The reason of existence, the purpose of the space, for what? Ask yourself. What was given to you instead of asking yourself on what do you have? Then, maybe, people will stop complaining and comparing self to the other. We are equals in the game of life, given with individual means to play it fair. When we dwell within and not without on what we have, the peace will come naturally. Peace is given, a gift in the playing field, all we have to do is to be brave enough to be in the game using our own means, all trusting, all knowing, with tons and tons of faith.

Wellness Tip for Peace: "If there is a will, there is a way". Processed by the brain, it was released in the heart through passion to defy anything and make things happen!

We thought a person's decision was influenced by others, when in fact, it is not. It is the will of the "matured" person that prompted them to make their "decision". Humans processed emotions in the hypothalamus based on the data that was gathered. After processing, passion is release and the reaction happen. If the "matured" person is under the influence of drugs, alcohol or other substance, the reaction is not healthy. Same thing, when the person underwent traumas, the reactions are not normal. Thus, healing and counselling is required for the person to manage their reactions. Virtues formation helps in strengthening the character of the person, so that when he/she reacted to the situation at hand, she/he is at peace with himself and the society where he/she belongs as of the moment. To maintain the balance of mind and body in solving a problematic situation, we must always have an open mind and rentless spirit to look for more data. Continuing the quest to search for the truth that we "need", until we have reach the "conviction" to make a "decision". Laziness or lack of time to process everything is not an excuse. Why do we need to do this? To give justice to the other person, and to give gratitude for the "second chance" granted to us in this lifetime. To meet "again" and lead this person to "finally" find a way to "make things happen"!

Wellness Tip for Peace: Balance the physical world and spiritual world with social interaction and meditation. But, when you feel that you submerged yourself too much to any of those, find your own private corner, and just be free to let your thoughts go until you've gained yourself back. Avoid being brainwashed by any ideals to keep your balance always

Every idea has a face value, and every idea, no matter how odd it may seem, has its place, if not now, but maybe in the future. So, don't get carried away by any idealism. Be firm with what you need and live with it >"ethically" according to the society where you currently belong. Choose your "legally correct" profession and practice it professionally, then enjoy the fruits of your labor. Be concerned with others, not just out of compassion, but as a responsibility to co-exist in this small planet. Give what you can give, but do not give what you do not have, to save your health and your sanity. Peace is kindness but not stupidity. Always pursue for the continuation of life and do not work for the promotion of death. Peace is a way to pursue life, thus if you work for peace, you will always promote life.

Wellness Tips for Peace: "Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it" - Confucius

The concept of good and evil automatically discriminates one from the other. But how do we know, if one is good and the other one is evil. We look at the actions or the words they say, then we judge. But who are we to judge? How do we know what is actually in the person's heart? Judgement automatically discriminates the quality of the person from one to the other. Judgeent makes the other person beautiful, and make the other person ugly. Judgement discriminates one from the other. Judgement cuts the peace-making process and leave the other person a winner, while the other a loser. To work for peace is to keep in mind that we only judge by rule of law, people judge according to the rules and policy set forth by the community and/or society where he/she belongs. We judge if it is our profession to judge because we are the adminstrators of of the law, it is our profession, thus we only practice our profession accordingly. But if we are not a judge by profession, why do we need to judge a person's character and rift him/her off of the confidence to live freely with his/her personality. How do we know that a person is good and bad, do we know his/her heart? Do we read his/her mind? Do we dwell in inside. His/her being that we can say that the person is good and the other is evil? To work for peace is to always find the beauty in everyone. Because everyone is a beautiful creation of our Divine Creator. That is the way to seek for peace. It is easier to search for peace if we look at the whole person as our equal, as our co-worker to make life on earth worthwhile. Looking at the other person as another human that breath with us, exist with us, and deserves a beautiful life and memories to stay living with other fellows that we only see as good. Everything is beautiful for as long as we see everything as part of God's beautiful creation. And it is our duty to keep the beauty in place, and when its gone, it is our duty to keep it back, so others will be inspired that life is really beautiful!

Wellness Tip for Peace: The silence of Meditative Prayer awaken us consciously in spiritual dimension of our being. It synchronize our Mind & Body to move in Harmony"

Mind is the working machine, Body is the window display and Voice is the sum total of everything. Our actions are by-products of the data that were processed in our brain that we got from our interaction and submersion to our environment. If our environment is polluted, we've got a polluted brain, thus we produce toxic reactions and thereby we infect the environment, making other people sick, and later on spread out like a plague. Would you like to stop this killing reactions? Would you like to be the antibiotic in this sickening and unhealthy planet? First step is to find your perfect spot, away from the mess of polluted brains where it is quiet and safe where you can PRAY Meditatively. Meditative Prayer is quiet, one-on-one dialogue with God, like a personal meeting where you will not ask for your blessings to come, but you will ask God to make you understand everything, all people around you, all the situations, etc. So that you can find the way to work within the environment where you were assigned to work and live. Meditative Prayer is like going to a shower where a person will clean himself/herself of impure thoughts and ask for forgiveness for all the malicious intentions. Meditative Prayer reconciles God's instruction to the person praying and the person's weaknesses on why plans are not implemented smoothly. Meditative Prayer is the way God teaches the human being to go beyond and elevate himself/herself so that he/she can rule his/her emotion and be on top of the situation given at hand to handle his/her assigned work and mission leadership. Thus, the human being will come out clear, clean, enlightened and firm. Free from malicious intent and free from detachment, the human being now will act to clean any toxic form that comes his/her way. As she/he regained the strength from Meditative Prayer, the human now synchronize his/her brain with his/her body in harmony with nature. His/her voice will command toxic people to heal and not to kill with the long term mission to continue the human race in a healthy environment.

Wellness Tip for Peace: "When we fall in-love with someone, we must also fall in-love with the responsibility that goes along with loving". This way it will be easier for us to love unconditionally making the whole concept of loving "real" and not just an "idea"

People can fall in-love with the idea. Any idea that gives the human being the feel-good sensation. An idea that can make a human being worthy of existence, a reason for living, a quest for something excellent, a liberation of the mind, body and spirit. One very good idea of idealism is "loving". How do humans really love thee? Do we count the ways? Or I love you because... and if not I won't love you anymore. Do we really give in to loving? Or are we consumed by the idea, or our concept on how love should and should not be? How do we know that love is real? And how do we know that we are truly "loving"? We can check on how we handle the responsibility of loving the people we choose to love. Do we give in to their needs? Are we capable of giving it? If we are not ready to give it, are we preparing ourselves so that eventually we can provide the needs of the person we choose to love? Do we let them know that we are here for them? Do we pursue the one we love or do we back-out of the responsibility knowing that the person we love needs us badly? Do we left them alone? Or do we stay and take the responsibility of loving bravely as a knight that fight anything that will take away the one we love? Don't be afraid, take the responsibilities it bear, for life is fair for those who care. Trust the light of love that binds your heart together to the one who loves you and to the one you love.

Wellness Tip for Peace: In the law of faith, love resides in our heart. It is perfected with hope so that good will be done by the soul and be healed without fear

Keep the faith, drop the fear. Easier said than done, and that's why, love needs to come in. We cannot start to have faith if we don't want to love, and we cannot continue having faith if we do not want to pursue loving. To love is not to care on who the person is, not anymore. To decide to love the person is to accept whoever he/she is, doesn't care anymore on what people say or what the society dictates. It is just love, no judgements, no demands, no expectations, no standards, no qualification, no analysis, no experimentation, nothing but just love. If a person reached this conviction, then faith has a place in the person's heart. Once loving is taking place, faith is being harness, not with any material or physical thing, but something that only the person who love has it -- and that is hope.

While loving unconditionally, hope is alive in the person's will to do good. Eventually the person who love will reach the level that his/her fear has melted and what remains are multiple lights of hope flashing and shining in the person/s faith to get what he/she wants at the soonest possible time!

Everything is possible because there is faith!

So, do you want to get what you want? Have faith. To start with, learn how to love and everything will follow naturally...

Wellness Tip for Peace: Don't stereotype them as Antagonistic, consider reasons for their negative response. Be diligent. Take time to communicate with them your pure intention. Do not expect them to conform w/u right away. Be consistent because your actions will inspire them to believe you

There are people whose DNA factor and chemical composition produces a doubtful personality. While others were raised by their family or community to be "always" analytical of other people's intention. When you encounter this kind of situation, be ready not to dwell into self-pity of seeing the whole scenario as unfavorable or calling everyone as antagonistic. It is not healthy, I know, and it takes a thick skinned to swallow all the insults of those who do not believe in you. What I intend to say is to see the whole situation as given, it is not personal, it is not because of you that they are like that, but it is who they are, before they met you. Now, we cannot change these people, but we can always change the way we look at them. If we avoid the negative thoughts and we keep our heart pure, we can still deal with them as professional human being.

How? Stop analyzing the person's behavior. Stop analyzing the person's background. Stop analyzing the kind of relationship your having with them. Treat these people as innocent humans. Stop being a judge and start being a communicator. Tell your intentions in the language that these people can understand. Educate.

Miscommunication happens when the other lost the interest to communicate the thoughts in a manner that the other person can understand. Remember, different people, different strokes. We cannot compare one from the other, or worst, we cannot compare ourselves to others, because doing so is vanity.

Communication is an art form. We craft the art in such a way that it can cater to a particular person as our audience. As an art form, communication will require skills to do so. Skills can be harnessed in time. So, don't get frustrated. If at one point, you were misunderstood, try again. If it is not yet working, try again. Until you still have the pure energy to do so, try again. Because you do not know when is the right time that these people can really understand what you "really" mean.

Do not expect because you do not control their mind. Just be fair and treat them well by not judging them.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Be Yourself. Let your personality surface. Be Prepared, know their issues and anticipate challenges

In peace leadership, you must have first and foremost the full understanding and control of yourself. If you lose yourself, you lose your peace. If you do not own yourself, how can you share yourself to others? How can you be selfless if you do not have your own self? Reflect, who are you? What do you need? What do you want? What do you think are your strengths? What do you think are your weaknesses? What is your obssession? What makes you tick? What will push you to the edge? What is your passion? What makes you complete? What will make you lose your sanity? These are some questions and you can further elaborate by asking yourself of the worst things that you can think of that will check your mind on how you cope up and can cope up with the pressures of peace-making.

Knowing yourself is a never ending process. It goes on and on until your alive. In the process of knowing ourselves, we got into the web of multi-cultural, multi-faith, multi-social, and multi-behavioral patterns. It can get crazy, but don't get frustrated because the whole experience is in simple terms, education. Remember, our negative reaction to something new is not personal but cultural. We don't know that point and we just learn it practically from another fellow where we just had and is currently having conflicting relationships. So, instead of getting too emotional on issues being raised, be professional, study, research and analyze every detail until you get the answer to your questions. Enjoy the learning process as you develop your self and find ways to make "any" relationship work! Nothing to lose but everything works to your advantage because you are given free education of life and you have all the options to choose what kind of life you can make. No one can dictate you, only you knows how you can solve your conflict, because nobody knows yourself better but you.

Why will you walk away? Why will you always run away from people or for that someone that you have passionate connections? Be brave. Know their issues. Study, learn and analyze. It is a privelege that destiny gave you another chance together in this lifetime to settle whatever it is that you need to settle. So take the lead, initiate the talk. Listen, and you will not just win a friend for life but you will develop your self in the whole process of facing your weakness. Take note, everybody is a friend, it just so happen that they were assigned in this lifetime either to be our parent, brother, sister, spouse, children, relatives, etc. But those are just name tags with corresponding society's assignments. In the end, what truly made you stay together is because you are FRIENDS..... the love you shared, the respect you have for each other, the moments you treasure are not society's requirements but the passion you both have in your heart.

And if this is the case, who says nothing last forever...

Wellness Tip for Peace: It's natural for humans to be insecured if there is no physical contact. But beyond physical, there is spiritual communication, and we call it Prayer

There's a typical notion that relationship happen between concerned parties only. We forget that in between any relationship, there is always a third party that sees all our transactions in our relationship. Someone that we cannot see in plain sight, and He is no other than but God. If we always consider that in any words we think, thought of, say and act upon to our fellow, God is watching and hears us then we can always be mindful of everything. Actually, no one is really alone, and in any relationship, it's always a family, consisting of you, the person that you are in a relationship with and God. So, if in case there's a communication gap, God is there to bridge the gap as He listen to your unceasing prayer. Wait, trust, and pray because you will be guided how to find the way to make the relationship work. Tell your thoughts to God, say what you really mean sincerely with all honesty. Just make a dialogue. Let go of the fear as you establish the connection until you gain the confidence to trust with all your heart whatever is God's will. In the process of doing so, your worries will vanish like shadows in the coming of light and you will gain peace.

Wellness Tip: End the Suffering. Simplify to get what you need for time is running out to enjoy it!

Human needs are complex. It goes beyond the food we eat, the clothes we wear, and the roof in our head. Humans are particular with social standing. The dignity of living. The enjoyment of the sensual life. The accumulation of material gains that defines human existence. The equality of rights, the seeking of justice, the perfection of human form in speech, action, words, choices, etc. The human culture is a never ending quest for what goes beyond what the eyes can see. Thus, if we sum up everything human desires are endless. So how do we get exactly what we need at a particular time in the least possible time and as much as possible the soonest. How do we get what we need now?!

The answer is to simplify. Itemize what you need in a scale of 1-10. Prioritize accordingly on what will make you suffer less and achieve your satisfaction. Jot down your golden virtues and pick one that you will hold as your torch to pursue in getting what you need. The golden virtues are the words given to us through our prayers that guides us in dealing life's pressures everyday. Once you hold at least one golden virtue and take it as your light, you will not get frustrated in getting what you need.

So simplify. What do you need now? Scale of 1-10. Prioritize. Pray for the virtue to hold you. Pursue. Pray for Guidance all throughout.

To prioritize is kinda' complicated if the object you wnat to purse is not a thing but a fellow human. So you ask and draw the line. Lay down your questions to the person and let the person know your thoughts so the person can understand what you mean. Thus, giving him/her the justice to respond to your needs honestly. Do not assume that things are not possible. ASK. Not until there is a dialogue betwen the two of you, then you cannot conclude if what you need is achievable or not. Do not make false judgement because you never know if the person is actually the gift to make your needs possible. Sometimes, we fail to see that the person that is always in our head is actually our angel. Be brave, talk and make a dialogue. Remember even if your meeting is just short, but it already got you, then probably destiny gave you the chance to work things out again in this lifetime. Don't let this moment pass you by again. Grab it while there is time and while nature is favoring your side. Believe, sometimes the solution to our suffering is just a phone call away.

My passion to live the beauty of life goes where my heart is for "heart cannot be seperated from fire or beauty from the eternal"

I am a very passionate person. I feel the situation so close. There are no boundaries to me. Distance does not keep me from loving, neither conflict of personalities. I give in to the motion of emotion. To love is to forget to think but just to let love take its course.... freely, without reservation, without standards, without thinking what lies ahead at the end of the line.

This I've learned as I coursed through my journey of being attuned to myself and to the people I really care about. But mind you, this whole thing of loving freely is alien to me way back then. Then, when I was always angry because people doesn't put up to my standards. Then, way back, I think too much. So I forgot to love. Commitment to me then entails the same commitment to the people I hold my commitment. I stay because they stay. I love because they love. And the whole thing makes me happy? No, it didn't!

What I've learned in the course of my life journey is this. You know you really love when you don't care! Not that you don't care anymore to the people you love but you don't care anymore who they are, what they are, what they do, who are they with, what does it take, etc. I've realized that "real" love is liberating. Love is when you are free! To be free is to love! It is the freedom from the bondage of what other people think, on what others will say, on what the future holds. What matters is just the importance and significance of the feeling of loving at a certain moment and time for no one knows what will really happen next. I wish to live the beauty of life and I can only live it fully when I'm free! And I can only be free when I let myself love freely!

Sounds really ideal. And I guess, few will agree with me, especially when one tries to protect his/her status quo. Loving is risk, and risk is everything. Loving is the alternative choice to fighting. Loving instead of hating. Love instead of War. The choice is ours, but both has its effects. War is death and Love is life. If we end, we let death take its victory. If we pursue, we let life have its way...

If we love, we let go of the control and we let love take its control... until we are ready to go where nature will lead us. We feel every moment of it, near or far, wherever we are, we live, we breath, we feel, and we let our heart live freely

Peace Vigil 2012: Whatever is True and Real will be Unified

Keep the Faith, drop the fear. Seek the truth. Be yourself. Believe, peace is possible.

Searching the truth requires patience and discipline to maintain an open mind to analyze facts as they present it and/or as you discover it. Being sensitive not to give in to impulsive judgement.

People have the the habit of assessing people, situation, etc based on how they feel. The first impression to a person can be influential to one's decision and judgement to a person. This is injustice practice if we allow this kind of practice. No one knows the truth until further investigation and research. Every person should be regarded as innocent; and that goes the same with any situation. If we treat everyone innocent until proven guilty, we are practing simple justice.

To search for the truth is to know what kind of truth are we looking for. Truth can be relative, meaning it depends on the kind of truth that we are searching. There are a lot of facts leading to the truth. With all numerous fact, what is it that we really want to know, as of the moment. If we simplify what we kind of truth we want to know, we can focus our mind to solve the questions that bothers us.

As we search the truth that we are looking for, we ask the question, What really happened that lead to this scenario, conclusion, situation, problem / solution, etc. To know what happened in plain ans simple data without reservation or emotional attachment to the facts presented. Forget the emotion and follow the reason will help you to search for the truth. Be professional in dealing with the whole searching to guard oneself not to fall into judgement based on emotion. To have the conviction that the truth can set you free. Free from malicious thoughts, free from intriguing conclusions, free from imprisonment, free from fear, free from attachments, free from guilt, free from sufferings, free from silence, free to hope, free to have faith and free to love.

Once we know what really happened and we grasp the truth in our hand, the whole situation becomes Real. We can hold it as we see it in our eyes all the facts presented, all researches made, all arein place and we now have the right to make our conclusion. The judgement that we make will then give way to our reaction, passion will then follow lead by our emotion. The motion of our heart and mind based on the truth that we hold will fuel our passion to move and take the course of action.

So to sum up, if in an organization, unity seems impossible, check on the truth of relationships in the group. Is it real? If it is, then there's no question why it is unified? If it is not, how do you think peace work should find its way?

The Peaceful Way to Eat

When do we know we are at peace when we eat? It is when we feel good while eating the food that is given to us. When we feel obligated to eat foods because it has nutrional contents that our body needs, we are harass like a child forced to do something we don't like. Okay, so we eat only what we want which is most of the time, is not pack with nutrition that our body needs. So how do we reconcile? It's our brain, blame it to the way we programed our brain. As an adult, we already have the option to choose on how to live the life we wish to have. So we opt to live the life that is comfortable to us, less hassle, less pressure, manageable. Well, not unless, one is masochistic would she/he choose to live a horrifying life! Now, usually there is a typical notion that preparing healthy foods will take time, and that it is demanding. So how do we go about it, the whole thing of programming our brain? We feel, we research, we study, we think. We do this until the whole idea of eating well sink in to our system and it becomes a habit, eventually a way of life. First, we feel. The body has its pulse, it tells us what we need. Like, do you feel tired, are you always grasping for energy' can't you sleep well. If you feel any of these, you can always find a way to make your life comfortable by looking closely on the kind of food you eat. Research the food nutrients. Vitamin b rich foods helps on stress management, helps in focusing and better sleep. vitamin C rich foods is its partner as it cleanses your body of toxins, heals and detoxify.Study the food groups that is applicable to your body's needs. you may consult a certified nutrionist to deal with this matter on a more professional matter. the important thing is to form the conviction in your brain that you eat to heal and satsify yourself at the same time, all in all, you eat to feel good, look good and being good has the best benefits at the shortest possible time! once the conviction is set, everything follows. You set your mind and you get what you need, and the moment to do it is now. Achieving peace in our lifestyle is work and we can work it well in satisfying mode if we know that in our mind we like what we do. And we can only like it, if we are attuned to it. We can only focus ourselves to matters that we have passion. Passion to eat well is one step ahead to achieve peace within ourself and that will of course will transcend to the world we live in. Take a shot! You may like it!

Wellness Tip for Peace: Regulate a Child's Emotion & Contribute to a Mentally Healthy & Peaceful Future

"It helps with the brain development that we need in order to have that stable foundation for going into adulthood, and dealing with the challenges that we face in adulthood. Being able to regulate our emotions, being able to know how to trust people, and how to develop relationships. All of those are skills that we need to negotiate adulthood," Copenhaver said."

'via Blog this'Healthy relationships help shape infant mental helath : News : UpperMichigansSource.com: "They can't talk back yet, but parental communication and nurturing is key to healthy baby. That's according to Melissa Copenhaver, a nurse who was at Peter White Public Library Thursday. She explained how early healthy relationships between caregivers and babies pave the way for a mentally-sound future.

Wellness Tip for Peace: Beyond material gains, it is knowing our Purpose in Life that can make us truly Happy

What We Know Now About How to Be Happy - Alice G. Walton - Health - The Atlantic: "People whose goals involved personal growth and the community were much happier than people who sought money or fame. This sounds a lot like the hedonic/ eudaimonic divide.

"By attaining the 'American Dream goals,' [big house, fancy car, designer clothes]" said the study's author Edward Deci, "you are actually feeling less satisfied in the need for autonomy and feeling effective in the world [because you are dependent on external measures outside your direct control], and that leads to more ill−being." So it seems like going after the material goods that are so appealing - a nice house, car, or bottle of wine - may actually make us more psychologically impoverished than the "larger" goals, like personal growth and self-satisfaction. This study underlines the divide between what we may think makes us happy and what actually makes us happy - and, by extension, healthy. "

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Wellness Tip: Nurture the Habit of Noticing What is Right About You & You'll Be Glad You Did!

8 Ways to Feel Happier | ThirdAge: "Affirmations are a time-honored way to cheer yourself up. That's because they really work! At least once a day, give yourself credit for being the wonderful person that you are. No accomplishment is too small to go unnoticed. Did you finally buy a pair of running shoes? That counts even if you didn't start running yet. Did you make it through half of your To Do list? That's better than not having tackled it at all. Did you let the person with one item go ahead of you in line at the checkout counter? Great! It all adds up. The trick is to nurture the habit of noticing what's right about you. You'll be glad you did."

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Wellness Tip: Write a "Journal of Blessings" Everyday & Plunge into the Challenge of Difficult Situation. Be Brave!

 "Mentally tally up all that's right about your life no matter what challenges you may be facing at the moment. Better yet, make a written list. Some researchers contend that if you use a pen and paper instead of typing on your computer, the thankful feelings will be more potent and stick around longer."

'via Blog this'8 Ways to Feel Happier | ThirdAge:

Wellness Tip: Stop Depression, Get Moving & Release the Happy Hormones "Endorphins" in Your Body

"There's a reason gym-rats who are subdued in the locker room before they work out end up coming back all bubbly and full of smiles. Physical activity spurs the production of endorphins, the happy hormones that give us a natural lift. In fact even seriously depressed people lighten up if they stop being couch potatoes. Find a way to fit some exercise into your life. You'll not only be healthier but you'll also be happier."

'via Blog this'8 Ways to Feel Happier | ThirdAge:

Wellness Tip: Manage Stress: Practice Random Acts of Kindness

"Whether you volunteer at a soup kitchen or simply lend a supportive ear to someone who is going through a rough time, you'll get a feel-good rush known as "Helper's High." Study after study has shown that if people stop dwelling on their own issues and focus instead on reaching out to others, levels of stress hormones drop. When you make another person's life brighter, it's a win-win scenario."

'via Blog this'8 Ways to Feel Happier | ThirdAge:

Tip: Believe in the Power of Love. Biological Study showed Romantic Love is Real and Can be Long-Lasting

Why some people cheat and some don't - Hindustan Times: "According to the study, when people looked at pictures of a new partner their brains fired in a region that processes the reward-inducing brain chemical dopamine. It's the same region that responds to food, alcohol and cocaine, and motivates people to want more of something. However, as with time, relationships often change and people commonly debate whether intense romantic love can last. To begin to test these theories, Aron and colleagues conducted the first brain-scan study of people in long-term love. In the lab, participants looked at pictures of their partner''s faces. Then they looked at a variety of comparison faces, including people they were close to but not passionately in love with. All the while, an fMRI machine recorded activity throughout their brains. Compared to the brain scans of people who had recently fallen in love, there were some differences. For example, the new lovers had activity in the parts of the brain related to tension and obsession. And only long-term lovers showed extra activity in areas related to attachment and pair bonding.
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But both groups showed comparable activity in a dopamine-processing region of the brain called the ventral tegmental area. Married partners who rated themselves highest on the scale of intense love showed more activity in that area than did long-term partners who reported slightly lower levels of intensity. "The question is if these claims of intense love in long-term relationships are real. This adds to our confidence that the answer is yes. This is confirmation that there's something real here. It''s not just people kidding themselves," said Aron.

The study, which focused on a group that held particularly strong feelings for their long-term partners, also suggested that couples who "simply strive to be happy together" may not be aiming high enough, said Arthur Aron, a of the Stony Brook University in New York.

The findings have been reported in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience.

Wellness Tip: Wear Something Red. "Red is a positive colour which, on a grey day, can really help brighten and lift up your mood"

Significance of the colour red in your life - Hindustan Times: "Red as a colour, says Dr Ramesh Kaushal, Reiki grandmaster, has the kind of energy and vibration that makes you feel confident. "It is a powerful colour that immediately connects you very differently to your environment," he says. "In fact red as a colour is recommended to people who might lack confidence. Red has the kind of energy that immediately peps you up." It's a sure-shot mood-lifter, agrees Dr Deepti Dhara, naturopath at Tulsi Holistic Centre, Kamla Nagar, Delhi. "Red is a positive colour which, on a grey day, can really help brighten and lift up your mood," she says. That's because red has a positive effect on your body, says wellness expert and Brunch columnist Dr Shikha Sharma. "Red is the colour of the mooldhara (root) chakra located at the base of the spine, which connects you to the outer world," she says. "It makes you industrious and increases your energy levels. Red also has great healing properties. For example it is recommended to treat degenerating bones.""

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Tip: How to Break up with a Man: Be a Lady: Save His Pride: Avoid Feeding Any Drama

How to break up with a man | Match.com: "Be definitive
When telling a guy that it is over, be clear that it is absolutely, positively O-V-E-R. “Sometimes, we may be inclined to leave the door open — either to leave options open for ourselves or to soften the blow of the breakup for the other person — but this is dangerous territory,” says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League. It might seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will possibly find your way back into each other’s arms... but all this does is give the poor guy false hope. And with false hope comes those desperate calls at 3 a.m. asking if you’re ready to take him back yet. “Make it clear that he needs to move on,” says John Seeley, M.A., author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. “Guys would rather hear the truth and then know what they need to do to move forward in their lives.”"

'via Blog this' http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/magazine/article.html&articleid=12769&ER=sessiontimeout

Don’t let him be the last to know your feelings
Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break things off, but try to limit yourself to how many people hear the test run of your dumping speech ahead of time. Eventually, someone is going to tattle, and as any guy will tell you, being the last to know that you’ve been dumped is not fun. “My best friend told me that he heard my girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with me,” says 32-year-old Dave from Long Island, NY. “I later found out that all of my friends knew before I did. I was so angry and humiliated. I felt like the biggest fool on earth, walking around telling everyone how in love I was, and all of them knowing she was about to give me the boot. It was the worst.”

Don’t do it online
The Internet is great for many things: locating discount airfares, paying credit card bills, wasting hundreds of hours looking at weird sites; the list goes on and on. But one thing that is not on that list (and never should be) is dropping a boyfriend like a bad habit. “My ex dumped me twice online,” says Chris, 31, from Washington, MO. “Once by email after we’d spent the weekend together; the second time, she did it over IM. At least ‘woman up’ and tell me in person!” Seriously, canceling a relationship like you would a credit card will put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life. “Voicemail, emails, Post-its and IMs are not cool ways to break up,” says Masini. “If you’ve spent more than three dates with the guy, you owe him a face-to-face sit-down discussion.” If you’re totally scared to do that, the phone can be an acceptable termination device — but only for short-term relationships.

Steer clear of using fake excuses
OK, you don’t have to tell someone point-blank that he is no longer worth your time, but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. He’ll feel twice as bad when he learns the truth, and you’ll feel like a jerk for doing it. “I went out a few times with this woman, and we talked a few times afterward,” says John, 34, from Virginia. “She worked as a government contractor at a submarine base and told me she’d been accepted to a top-secret program in Arizona that would last at least six months. Long story short: she was lying, and I bumped into her just a month later. And this was after we had a conversation about how awful it was that people couldn’t be honest!” If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth. You don’t have to be brutally honest, though. “I just don’t feel a connection with you” is a perfectly good way of saying, “You are too busy for me” or “I didn’t know someone could kiss that badly.”

Be brief in your explanation
“Keep it short and sweet,” urges Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at womansavers.com. Unless you’ve been together for years and years, no breakup speech should last more than 30 minutes. You don’t need to give him every reason you want to end things; instead, just name one or two major problems and be done with it. The last thing you want is having him interpret your litany of ways he’s failed you romantically as a list of things he can change in order to win you back. Make it clear that this isn’t a negotiation. It may seem cruel to be brusque about it, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the faster you do it, the faster you’ll feel better.

Avoid feeding any drama
A man with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive sometimes, so try to defuse the situation with silence. “Don’t engage with him,” says Masini. “Listen. Be quiet. Don’t respond.” Don’t fuel the fire by defending yourself. Let him get it all out, then leave. If you’re worried that the guy might hurt himself or someone else in the wake of your breakup, call a counselor or a police officer. Trying to take on a dangerous situation by yourself is just that — dangerous.

Secure a breakup buddy
“Breaking up can be overwhelming,” says Masini, “and it may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort. After you break up, have plans to meet with a friend. Debrief over lunch and a movie.” Remove his number from your cell phone while you’re at it. Post-breakup conversations tend to lead to post-breakup reunions, and next thing you know, you’re having brunch together and wondering how the heck you wound up with this guy again. If you want to touch base to see how he’s doing, give it a couple of months at least. If he’s still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent) is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again.

Dan Bova is the executive editor of Maxim

Tip: How to Break up with a Woman: Be a Man, Give Her the Dignity of Ending the Connection in Person

How to break up with a woman: "Don’t just pull a disappearing act on her
Sadly, this is an all too common tactic with men, but listen up: it’s just not cool at all. “My friends and I agree that there’s nothing worse than fading away into oblivion!” says 29-year-old Stacey from Pensacola, FL. “Then the girl is left just wondering and waiting.” Women need some sort of closure, and you owe her some kind of explanation before you decide to vanish from her life."

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Consider the timing before breaking the bad news to her
Though it’s not totally your responsibility to see how she survives the breakup, you can help ease the transition by carefully considering when to break the bad news to her. “It’s thoughtful and courteous to be aware of what is going on in her life,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in New York City. In other words, don’t be an extra-special jerk by delivering the news when she’s already going through a rough patch. If she lost her job yesterday, give her a little time to adjust before having the big talk.

Don’t rely on technology to do the deed
We live in a world of cell phones, BlackBerries and IMs, which means it’s easier than ever to get in touch with each other... but please don’t use it as a way to escape confrontation. “Using technology to break up is a cowardly act — it means you don’t have the nerve to face me,” says Kerry, 37, from Portsmouth, NH. “If you liked me enough to kiss me, spend time with me, and have a romance with me, then I think the very least you can do is honor that connection by ending it in person.”

Give her adequate face time
You may be tempted to deliver the news and then get the heck out of there, but there’s nothing worse than bringing up the subject when you don’t have adequate time to discuss it. Yes, that means you will have to talk to her and you might have to witness some tears, but it’s the right thing to do. “My ex broke up with me by meeting me for coffee, and we had a very open and civilized conversation,” says Gigi, 39, from New York, NY. “Yes, it still hurt... but because of the classy way he handled it, we didn’t lose our friendship, too.”

Choose your breakup location wisely
There’s no reason to break the news behind closed doors — but a bit of privacy can be a good thing. What youshouldn’t do is deliver the news anywhere that she’ll lose her dignity. “If you’re at a party surrounded by friends where everyone will see her if she bursts into tears, that’s not a good call,” says Wygant. “This is between the two of you, not your whole posse.” Wygant also suggests staying away from your favorite haunt or the place where you had your first date (or anywhere that could evoke painful memories). Think neutral, semi-private, and let her save face if she becomes overwhelmed with emotion.

Don’t be cruel in the name of honesty
Women need “reasons” so they can accept the breakup and move on. But there’s one big caveat… don’t be spiteful or hurtful when you give them to her. “Getting broken up with is insulting at some level and just being rejected feels bad enough. So why make the person feel worse?” offers Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. No woman wants to hear that you’re dumping her because she has bad breath, or that she’s no longer attractive to you, or you’re insanely attracted to her best friend. These kinds of reflections shouldn’t be shared: “You’re no longer entitled to give advice or criticism because you aren’t her boyfriend anymore,” says Puhn. Instead, your reasons for the split should focus on how you two aren’t good matches for each other. Try saying something like, “Both of us are good people, but I don’t think we’re the right fit together romantically.”

Stay strong in your assertion that it’s time to end things
You start to deliver the news; you see her lip start to quiver and you think, Oh no, she’s going to cry. Should you attempt to soften the blow by saying, “Well, there might be a chance for us in the future but right now the timing isn’t good” or “Maybe when things quiet down at work” or “I think I just need a break” (or whatever will quieten her down)? No, no, no! Giving a woman a false sense of hope will not help her heal. “If you know it’s over, spare her the agony of pretending that you might call her sometime when you won’t,” says Magdoff. “If you really aren’t certain about the future, you can say ‘I’m not sure, but please don’t hold your breath…’”

Don’t freak out if she gets emotional afterward
We’re reputed to be the more sensitive gender, remember? So yes, there’s a chance that she might start sobbing or screaming or otherwise emoting (and you need to let her do whatever it is instead of trying to quieten her down). “If she gets hostile or weepy, stay calm and let her get angry or hysterical for a little while; remember, you’ve been thinking about the breakup for weeks, she heard about it 10 seconds ago,” says Puhn. If she gets more and more worked up as the minutes pass, however, take your leave and give her some down time to adjust to this new information. “Before walking away, however, set a specific time to talk later to give her security that you’re willing to explain yourself and listen to what she has to say when she’s calmed down,” Puhn adds.

Don’t use that “It’s not you, it’s me” line on her
Everyone knows that if someone leaves you, it’s because you’re not who this person wants to date — and that’s the bottom line. “Anyone on the receiving end of this line can see through it,” says Magdoff. She suggests that a better phrase to utter might be, “Who you are and what you want are absolutely terrific, but where I am right now is a very different place.”

End things properly with her before you start seeing someone else
Uh, hello? That’s called cheating! And if you intentionally stray in an effort to make her break up with you, you’re a coward and deserve whatever reaction you get. Also, forget about using the “I’ve met someone else” escape clause. Introducing a new love into a breakup discussion only tortures your soon-to-be ex. “After three years together, my boyfriend ended it with me over the phone by saying he’d met another woman on his trip to Europe,” says Jenny, 30, from Seattle, WA. “I spent the next two years wondering, What’s it like for them? Is it different from when he and I were together? Do they order the same kind of takeout? Do they listen to the same music we listened to? Do they laugh as much? Do they laugh more? And what makes her so much more appealing than me?” Get the point? Mentioning another woman really hurts and unnecessarily intensifies the pain.

It’s OK to agree to keep in touch (on special occasions only)
Calling just to check up on her in a week or even a month is not really helpful. It just confuses things and catapults you back into the forefront of her mind. There is one exception here, though… the special occasion. “If it’s her birthday or a holiday and you were very close, then it is sweet to call to wish her well,” says Puhn. However, don’t call to make plans, don’t call to discuss sensitive issues and don’t talk with her for longer than 10 minutes. “Be acquaintances and keep in mind that acquaintances rarely talk more than twice a year,” says Puhn.

Reassure her
One final point — let her know that she mattered to you. Puhn suggests saying something like “I enjoyed being with you, and I value the time we spent together, but we just aren’t right for the long run.” She needs to know that you didn’t consider her ‘a waste of time’ or unimportant. That will help her risk giving her heart to someone else in the future.

Kimberly Dawn Neumann is a New York City-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Maxim, and Marie Claire

Self-Confidence is Healthy Self within

Don’t let the setbacks steer you off course. There may or may not be rejection, and if there is, it’s best to focus on the positive instead of the negative. If you are going to be working on your physical features, do it for yourself instead of trying to impress others. After all, being in good health boosts your confidence. So put your best efforts -- physically, mentally, and emotionally.