Research has found that doing squats and leg presses will greatly increase your natural production of the "youth hormone". Increased growth hormone translates to an elevated mood, among other physical benefits. Keep it up with weight training, knee bends, push-ups, and rowing.
Breathing correctly is important for dispelling the toxins and wastes from your body; in fact, it is estimated that we expel only about 30 percent of toxins in our bodies through the bowels and bladder-the rest is all respiratory. Breathing is also a great way to clear your mind, boost your energy, and improve your mood. Practice deep, slow, rhythmic, breathing daily with mind-body disciplines such as tai chi, yoga, qigong, and meditation.
"
Climate Change: Wellness for Peace: How to Lift a BAD MOOD?: "
'via Blog this'
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wellness for Peace: How to Lift a bad mood? "FLOWER THERAPHY"
Colorful flowers have a powerful influence on moods; they can uplift a patient's mood and even combat stress. One study found that during a five-minute typing assignment, people sitting next to a flowering bouquet were more relaxed than those who sat near foliage-only plants.
Climate Change: Wellness for Peace: How to Lift a BAD MOOD?: "
'via Blog this'
Climate Change: Wellness for Peace: How to Lift a BAD MOOD?: "
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: How to Lift a bad mood? "SMELL THE JOY"
Aromatherapy recommends treating depression with jasmine, eucalyptus for exhilaration, and grapefruit to increase alertness and joy. Just put a dab of the essential oils from these plants on your temples, back of your neck, or acupressure points. Another option? Boil the herb in water and inhale the steam through your nose.
Research has shown that smell has a definite impact on our bodies and minds. When you stimulate the olfactory nerves inside your nose, you activate the limbic system of your brain, which is associated with moods and memory. This concept is instrumental to aromatherapy, a natural health tradition that makes use of the healing powers of plants with strong scents.
'via Blog this'
'via Blog this'
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wellness for Peace: MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PARTNER & AVOID INFIDELITY
An affair is an extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time. Affairs do not happen out of the blue and rarely happen because someone is a bad person. Cheating is caused by one single factor: "Lack." In a relationship, it's a lack of love, attention, intimacy, recognition, respect, and connection that builds up over time. Eventually, this "lack" can become so painful that the person in the most pain will often act out by cheating. Because communication has broken down, the cheating person doesn't feel like they can talk to their partner, so that makes them vulnerable to cheating. So, how do you avoid getting to this point in a relationship? Below are seven ways to avoid the "lack" and prevent a potential affair."
Wellness for Peace: Emotional Management: HOW TO HELP YOUR PARTNER AVOID INFIDELITY: "
1. Avoid complacency. Don't ever take your relationship for granted. Partnerships need to be nourished daily by a kind word, appreciation, a loving kiss, a smile. Complacency is a warning signal that you and your partner are out of touch with each other.
2. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't sweep issues under the rug. They won't go away! Learn ways to resolve differences so that recurring arguments don't continue.
3. Pay attention to your gut. If you're feeling something isn't quite right in your relationship, 99 percent of the time you're correct. Find a way to approach your partner to talk about things. Keep your relationship current by checking in on a weekly basis to make sure problems aren't building up.
4. Find time for each other. Don't get so busy that you forget to have a date with your partner. Make time away from chores and work to renew your loving feelings. Remember how important your mate is to you. Tell them, by making time for them.
5. Know when it's a time of stress and pay attention to your partner even more. Some common trigger times for extra stress in a relationship are job changes, health problems, changes in finances, and the death of a family member or friend. During these stressful periods, pay extra attention to your relationship. Let your partner know you're there, and make even more time to connect with each other.
6. Understand the real issues in your relationship. Learn tools for resolving arguments. Avoid blaming, shaming, and the need to always be right in an argument. Learn what you're really fighting about so that you can resolve your issues. If you're fighting about the wrong thing, you'll never resolve arguments.
7. Always remember what it was that made you fall in love with your partner. Too often we allow our disagreements to cloud our love for our significant other, and we forgot why we even fell in love! Keep your sense of humor. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and don't make them your enemy.
Avoid the "lack" and affair-proof your relationship by staying conscious of yourself and your partner. Nurture each other and keep the lines of communication open.
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: Emotional Management: HOW TO HELP YOUR PARTNER AVOID INFIDELITY: "
1. Avoid complacency. Don't ever take your relationship for granted. Partnerships need to be nourished daily by a kind word, appreciation, a loving kiss, a smile. Complacency is a warning signal that you and your partner are out of touch with each other.
2. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't sweep issues under the rug. They won't go away! Learn ways to resolve differences so that recurring arguments don't continue.
3. Pay attention to your gut. If you're feeling something isn't quite right in your relationship, 99 percent of the time you're correct. Find a way to approach your partner to talk about things. Keep your relationship current by checking in on a weekly basis to make sure problems aren't building up.
4. Find time for each other. Don't get so busy that you forget to have a date with your partner. Make time away from chores and work to renew your loving feelings. Remember how important your mate is to you. Tell them, by making time for them.
5. Know when it's a time of stress and pay attention to your partner even more. Some common trigger times for extra stress in a relationship are job changes, health problems, changes in finances, and the death of a family member or friend. During these stressful periods, pay extra attention to your relationship. Let your partner know you're there, and make even more time to connect with each other.
6. Understand the real issues in your relationship. Learn tools for resolving arguments. Avoid blaming, shaming, and the need to always be right in an argument. Learn what you're really fighting about so that you can resolve your issues. If you're fighting about the wrong thing, you'll never resolve arguments.
7. Always remember what it was that made you fall in love with your partner. Too often we allow our disagreements to cloud our love for our significant other, and we forgot why we even fell in love! Keep your sense of humor. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and don't make them your enemy.
Avoid the "lack" and affair-proof your relationship by staying conscious of yourself and your partner. Nurture each other and keep the lines of communication open.
'via Blog this'
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Wellness for Peace: How to Protect Your Heart at Every Age? Tips if You are in Your 60s
Get Even More Vigilant About Screenings. After you go through menopause and get older, your blood pressure and cholesterol tend to go up, and blood vessels get stiffer. "Have your blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol measured yearly," advises Dr. Goldberg.
Consider Medication. If you have hypertension or high cholesterol, the way you've been managing it before may not be enough. "As you get older, you may need more aggressive therapy," Dr. Bonow says. "High blood pressure that was controlled with one medication may now require three to control it." Talk to your doctor about whether you need to add to or adjust your medications to control your risk factors.
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Be Alert to Symptoms. Now is when the first noticeable symptoms of heart disease may appear, so it's important to know what's normal for your body and be on the lookout for worrisome signs like chest discomfort, shortness of breath or changes in exercise tolerance—meaning you suddenly feel winded going up a flight of stairs or feel unusually tired for no apparent reason, says Dr. Mieres. If these appear, see your doctor pronto!
Consider Medication. If you have hypertension or high cholesterol, the way you've been managing it before may not be enough. "As you get older, you may need more aggressive therapy," Dr. Bonow says. "High blood pressure that was controlled with one medication may now require three to control it." Talk to your doctor about whether you need to add to or adjust your medications to control your risk factors.
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Be Alert to Symptoms. Now is when the first noticeable symptoms of heart disease may appear, so it's important to know what's normal for your body and be on the lookout for worrisome signs like chest discomfort, shortness of breath or changes in exercise tolerance—meaning you suddenly feel winded going up a flight of stairs or feel unusually tired for no apparent reason, says Dr. Mieres. If these appear, see your doctor pronto!
Wellness for Peace: How to Protect Your Heart at Every Age? Tips if You are in Your 50s
Move More. Around menopause, you tend to gain extra weight around your belly, which can lead to insulin resistance, inflammation and heart strain. Cardiovascular fitness also starts to decline, particularly if you're not that physically active to begin with. "Unfortunately, at this point, women have to burn more calories to stay at the same weight," Dr. Stevens says. Start taking the stairs instead of the elevator whenever you can, walk faster around the mall, or jog to the mailbox to send letters instead of sticking your hand out the car window as you drive by. Small changes really do add up.
Have an ECG. Silent heart abnormalities become more common in your 50s, and an electrocardiogram (ECG) to check your heart's electrical activity can pick them up, says Dr. Goldberg. Also ask your doctor if you should have a stress test; this is especially important if you're just starting to exercise."
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Add Fiber. Besides being good for your cholesterol and blood sugar, pumping up your fiber intake (think whole grains like oatmeal, brown rice and flaxseeds, as well as beans, fruits and veggies) can help prevent constipation, which becomes more of a problem as you get older and your digestive system starts to slow down.
'via Blog this'
Have an ECG. Silent heart abnormalities become more common in your 50s, and an electrocardiogram (ECG) to check your heart's electrical activity can pick them up, says Dr. Goldberg. Also ask your doctor if you should have a stress test; this is especially important if you're just starting to exercise."
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Add Fiber. Besides being good for your cholesterol and blood sugar, pumping up your fiber intake (think whole grains like oatmeal, brown rice and flaxseeds, as well as beans, fruits and veggies) can help prevent constipation, which becomes more of a problem as you get older and your digestive system starts to slow down.
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: How to Protect Your Heart at Every Age? Tips if You are in Your 40s
Make Sleep a Priority. Thanks to peri-menopause, fluctuating hormone levels can interfere with a good night's sleep. But not getting at least seven hours of shut-eye regularly can lead to increased blood pressure, low-grade inflammation and higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, all of which are harmful for your blood vessels and heart, explains Jennifer H. Mieres, MD, a cardiologist at New York University School of Medicine and coauthor of Heart Smart for Black Women and Latinas. Lack of sleep has also been linked to weight gain. So establish good habits: Turn in (and wake up) at the same time every day—even on weekends—and do your best to relax before going to bed, whether it's watching a favorite funny TV show or reading.
"Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Reassess Your Risk Factors. You may discover that your cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar levels have changed in this decade, even if you aren't doing anything differently, says Dr. Hayes. In fact, 22 percent of 40-something women have high blood pressure and 50 percent have high cholesterol (a jump from 38 percent of women in their 30s), according to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. Also, be sure to get your thyroid checked around 45; hypothyroidism (an underactive thyroid gland), which becomes more common as women get older, can negatively affect your cholesterol levels as well as your heart.
Step Up Strength Training. You start to lose muscle mass more rapidly in your 40s, which causes your metabolism to slow down since muscle burns more calories than fat. Unfortunately, this makes it harder to stave off those extra pounds. To help maintain muscle and keep your metabolism going, aim for two 15-minute sessions weekly of lifting weights, using a resistance band or doing other toning exercises.
Carve out Personal Time. "Between the demands of work and family, it becomes even more challenging to find time for yourself in your 40s," says Dr. Mieres. But it's crucial to do so—not only to help ease stress but also to guard against depression, which commonly crops up in this decade and can raise your risk of heart disease. "Find at least 10 minutes of ‘me' time every day to do something—even if it's just chatting on the phone with a friend—that helps you destress and regroup," says Dr. Mieres.
'via Blog this'
"Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Reassess Your Risk Factors. You may discover that your cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar levels have changed in this decade, even if you aren't doing anything differently, says Dr. Hayes. In fact, 22 percent of 40-something women have high blood pressure and 50 percent have high cholesterol (a jump from 38 percent of women in their 30s), according to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. Also, be sure to get your thyroid checked around 45; hypothyroidism (an underactive thyroid gland), which becomes more common as women get older, can negatively affect your cholesterol levels as well as your heart.
Step Up Strength Training. You start to lose muscle mass more rapidly in your 40s, which causes your metabolism to slow down since muscle burns more calories than fat. Unfortunately, this makes it harder to stave off those extra pounds. To help maintain muscle and keep your metabolism going, aim for two 15-minute sessions weekly of lifting weights, using a resistance band or doing other toning exercises.
Carve out Personal Time. "Between the demands of work and family, it becomes even more challenging to find time for yourself in your 40s," says Dr. Mieres. But it's crucial to do so—not only to help ease stress but also to guard against depression, which commonly crops up in this decade and can raise your risk of heart disease. "Find at least 10 minutes of ‘me' time every day to do something—even if it's just chatting on the phone with a friend—that helps you destress and regroup," says Dr. Mieres.
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: How to Protect Your Heart at Every Age? Tips if You are in Your 30s
Get a Grip on Stress. When you're juggling career and family, it's crucial to find stress management techniques that work. "Untamed stress has a direct negative impact on heart health," says Dr. Stevens. "The constant bombardment of adrenaline raises blood pressure and destabilizes plaque in your arteries, making it likely to cause a clot or heart attack."
Lose the Baby Weight. No, you don't have to fit into your skinny jeans by the time the baby's 6 months old, but do aim to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight within one to two years. "Carrying around extra pounds can lead to high cholesterol, high blood pressure and other heart disease risk factors," Dr. Bonow says. Also remember that it's easier to lose weight in your 30s than in your 40s, when your metabolism slows down.
"Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Stay Social. It's important to stay connected to friends and family for the sake of your mood and heart. Research at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that high levels of loneliness increase a woman's risk of heart disease by 76 percent. On the flip side, having strong social support can help lower your blood pressure and improve other cardiovascular functions. Set aside time once or twice a week to call friends, or make a monthly dinner date.
'via Blog this'
Lose the Baby Weight. No, you don't have to fit into your skinny jeans by the time the baby's 6 months old, but do aim to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight within one to two years. "Carrying around extra pounds can lead to high cholesterol, high blood pressure and other heart disease risk factors," Dr. Bonow says. Also remember that it's easier to lose weight in your 30s than in your 40s, when your metabolism slows down.
"Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: "Stay Social. It's important to stay connected to friends and family for the sake of your mood and heart. Research at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that high levels of loneliness increase a woman's risk of heart disease by 76 percent. On the flip side, having strong social support can help lower your blood pressure and improve other cardiovascular functions. Set aside time once or twice a week to call friends, or make a monthly dinner date.
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: How to Protect Your Heart at Every Age? Tips if You are in Your 20s
Stub Out a Social Smoking Habit. Smoking is enemy number one when it comes to heart disease, and even just a few cigarettes can do damage: New research from McGill University in Montreal found that smoking just one cigarette a day stiffens your arteries by a whopping 25 percent. Plus, smoking erases the hormonal advantage you have from estrogen, which can leave you vulnerable to a heart attack before menopause, explains Dr. Bonow.
Don't Ignore the Birth Control Factor. Remember that hormonal contraceptives slightly increase the risk of blood clots, so if you've ever had one, make sure to discuss it with your doctor before going on birth control. And if you're currently a smoker, don't take oral contraceptives, because the combo can be especially dangerous, says Sharonne N. Hayes, MD, director of the Women's Heart Clinic at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: Watch Your Alcohol Intake. Moderate amounts of alcohol can have a beneficial effect on your heart. (By "moderate," we mean one drink a day or about 5 ounces—but many restaurants serve far more than that.) Overdoing it can raise triglycerides, increase blood pressure and lead to weight gain, thanks to all those empty calories.
'via Blog this'
Don't Ignore the Birth Control Factor. Remember that hormonal contraceptives slightly increase the risk of blood clots, so if you've ever had one, make sure to discuss it with your doctor before going on birth control. And if you're currently a smoker, don't take oral contraceptives, because the combo can be especially dangerous, says Sharonne N. Hayes, MD, director of the Women's Heart Clinic at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
Wellness for Peace: Protect Your Heart at Every Age: Watch Your Alcohol Intake. Moderate amounts of alcohol can have a beneficial effect on your heart. (By "moderate," we mean one drink a day or about 5 ounces—but many restaurants serve far more than that.) Overdoing it can raise triglycerides, increase blood pressure and lead to weight gain, thanks to all those empty calories.
'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace: PEACE OF MIND. Ways to Achieve it One Piece @ a Time
Wellness for Peace: PEACE OF MIND. Ways to Achieve it One Piece @ a Time: "Don't take everything too personally. Some emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically. Don't worry if again and again you fail to manifest detachment. Just keep trying. .... Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them......Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.
Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life......Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.
"
'via Blog this' Other Tips for Inner Peace:
Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life......Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.
"
'via Blog this' Other Tips for Inner Peace:
Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.
Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.
Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.
Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. This again, causes lack of inner peace.
Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.
Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.
Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.
Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.
Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. This again, causes lack of inner peace.
Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.
Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.
Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Wellness for Peace: HUMAN BEHAVIORS: Understanding Autism
Autism is a lifelong developmental disability. It is part of the autism spectrum and is sometimes referred to as an autism spectrum disorder, or an ASD. The word 'spectrum' is used because, while all people with autism share three main areas of difficulty, their condition will affect them in very different ways. Some are able to live relatively 'everyday' lives; others will require a lifetime of specialist support.
The three main areas of difficulty which all people with autism share are sometimes known as the 'triad of impairments'. They are:
difficulty with social communication
difficulty with social interaction
difficulty with social imagination.
These are described in more detail below:
Difficulty with social communication
"For people with autistic spectrum disorders, 'body language' can appear just as foreign as if people were speaking ancient Greek."
People with autism have difficulties with both verbal and non-verbal language. Many have a very literal understanding of language, and think people always mean exactly what they say. They can find it difficult to use or understand:
facial expressions or tone of voice
jokes and sarcasm
common phrases and sayings; an example might be the phrase 'It's cool', which people often say when they think that something is good, but strictly speaking, means that it's a bit cold.
Some people with autism may not speak, or have fairly limited speech. They will usually understand what other people say to them, but prefer to use alternative means of communication themselves, such as sign language or visual symbols.
Others will have good language skills, but they may still find it hard to understand the give-and-take nature of conversations, perhaps repeating what the other person has just said (this is known as echolalia) or talking at length about their own interests.
It helps if other people speak in a clear, consistent way and give people with autism time to process what has been said to them.
Difficulty with social interaction
"Socialising doesn't come naturally - we have to learn it."
People with autism often have difficulty recognising or understanding other people's emotions and feelings, and expressing their own, which can make it more difficult for them to fit in socially. They may:
not understand the unwritten social rules which most of us pick up without thinking: they may stand too close to another person for example, or start an inappropriate subject of conversation
appear to be insensitive because they have not recognised how someone else is feeling
prefer to spend time alone rather than seeking out the company of other people
not seek comfort from other people
appear to behave 'strangely' or inappropriately, as it is not always easy for them to express feelings, emotions or needs.
Difficulties with social interaction can mean that people with autism find it hard to form friendships: some may want to interact with other people and make friends, but may be unsure how to go about this.
Difficulty with social imagination
"We have trouble working out what other people know. We have more difficulty guessing what other people are thinking."
Social imagination allows us to understand and predict other people's behaviour, make sense of abstract ideas, and to imagine situations outside our immediate daily routine. Difficulties with social imagination mean that people with autism find it hard to:
understand and interpret other people's thoughts, feelings and actions
predict what will happen next, or what could happen next
understand the concept of danger, for example that running on to a busy road poses a threat to them
engage in imaginative play and activities: children with autism may enjoy some imaginative play but prefer to act out the same scenes each time
prepare for change and plan for the future
cope in new or unfamiliar situations.
Difficulties with social imagination should not be confused with a lack of imagination. Many people with autism are very creative and may be, for example, accomplished artists, musicians or writers.
Other related characteristics
Love of routines
"One young person with autism attended a day service. He would be dropped off by taxi, walk up to the door of the day service, knock on it and be let in. One day, the door opened before he could knock and a person came out. Rather than go in through the open door, he returned to the taxi and began the routine again."
The world can seem a very unpredictable and confusing place to people with autism, who often prefer to have a fixed daily routine so that they know what is going to happen every day. This routine can extend to always wanting to travel the same way to and from school or work, or eat exactly the same food for breakfast.
Rules can also be important: it may be difficult for a person with autism to take a different approach to something once they have been taught the 'right' way to do it. People with autism may not be comfortable with the idea of change, but can cope well if they are prepared for it in advance.
Sensory sensitivity
"Rowan loves art but he hates wearing a shirt to protect his clothing - the feeling of the fabric against his skin causes him distress. We have agreed with his school that he can wear a loose-fitting apron instead."
People with autism may experience some form of sensory sensitivity. This can occur in one or more of the five senses - sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. A person's senses are either intensified (hypersensitive) or under-sensitive (hypo-sensitive).
For example, a person with autism may find certain background sounds, which other people ignore or block out, unbearably loud or distracting. This can cause anxiety or even physical pain.
People who are hypo-sensitive may not feel pain or extremes of temperature. Some may rock, spin or flap their hands to stimulate sensation, to help with balance and posture or to deal with stress.
People with sensory sensitivity may also find it harder to use their body awareness system. This system tells us where our bodies are, so for those with reduced body awareness, it can be harder to navigate rooms avoiding obstructions, stand at an appropriate distance from other people and carry out 'fine motor' tasks such as tying shoelaces.
Special interests
"My art activity has enabled me to become a part of society. When there is something that a person with autism does well, it should be encouraged and cultivated."
Many people with autism have intense special interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong, and can be anything from art or music, to trains or computers. Some people with autism may eventually be able to work or study in related areas. For others, it will remain a hobby.
A special interest may sometimes be unusual. One person with autism loved collecting rubbish, for example; with encouragement, this was channelled into an interest in recycling and the environment.
Learning disabilities
"I have a helper who sits with me and if I'm stuck on a word she helps me. It makes a big difference."
People with autism may have learning disabilities, which can affect all aspects of someone's life, from studying in school, to learning how to wash themselves or make a meal. As with autism, people can have different 'degrees' of learning disability, so some will be able to live fairly independently - although they may need a degree of support to achieve this - while others may require lifelong, specialist support. However, all people with autism can, and do, learn and develop with the right sort of support.
Other conditions are sometimes associated with autism. These may include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or learning difficulties such as dyslexia and dyspraxia.
Who is affected by autism?
Autism is much more common than most people think. There are over half a million people in the UK with autism - that's around 1 in 100 people.
People from all nationalities and cultural, religious and social backgrounds can have autism, although it appears to affect more men than women. It is a lifelong condition: children with autism grow up to become adults with autism.
What causes autism?
The exact cause of autism is still being investigated. However, research suggests that a combination of factors - genetic and environmental - may account for changes in brain development.
Autism is not caused by a person's upbringing, their social circumstances and is not the fault of the individual with the condition.
Is there a cure?
At present, there is no 'cure' for autism. However, there is a range of interventions - methods of enabling learning and development - which people may find to be helpful. Many of these are detailed on our website: www.autism.org.uk/approaches
What is a diagnosis?
A diagnosis is the formal identification of autism, usually by a health professional such as a paediatrician or a psychiatrist. Having a diagnosis is helpful for two reasons:
it helps people with autism (and their families) to understand why they may experience certain difficulties and what they can do about them
it allows people to access services and support.
People's GPs can refer them to a specialist who is able to make a diagnosis. Many people are diagnosed as children; their parents and carers can ask GPs for a referral.
Some professionals may refer to autism by a different name, such as autism or autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), classic autism or Kanner autism, pervasive developmental disorder (PDD) or high-functioning autism (HFA).
Where do I go next?
Our Autism Helpline offers confidential information and advice on autism and related issues.
Tel: 0845 070 4004
(open 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday)
Email: autismhelpline@nas.org.ukWellness for Peace: HUMAN BEHAVIORS: Understanding Autism: "
'via Blog this'
The three main areas of difficulty which all people with autism share are sometimes known as the 'triad of impairments'. They are:
difficulty with social communication
difficulty with social interaction
difficulty with social imagination.
These are described in more detail below:
Difficulty with social communication
"For people with autistic spectrum disorders, 'body language' can appear just as foreign as if people were speaking ancient Greek."
People with autism have difficulties with both verbal and non-verbal language. Many have a very literal understanding of language, and think people always mean exactly what they say. They can find it difficult to use or understand:
facial expressions or tone of voice
jokes and sarcasm
common phrases and sayings; an example might be the phrase 'It's cool', which people often say when they think that something is good, but strictly speaking, means that it's a bit cold.
Some people with autism may not speak, or have fairly limited speech. They will usually understand what other people say to them, but prefer to use alternative means of communication themselves, such as sign language or visual symbols.
Others will have good language skills, but they may still find it hard to understand the give-and-take nature of conversations, perhaps repeating what the other person has just said (this is known as echolalia) or talking at length about their own interests.
It helps if other people speak in a clear, consistent way and give people with autism time to process what has been said to them.
Difficulty with social interaction
"Socialising doesn't come naturally - we have to learn it."
People with autism often have difficulty recognising or understanding other people's emotions and feelings, and expressing their own, which can make it more difficult for them to fit in socially. They may:
not understand the unwritten social rules which most of us pick up without thinking: they may stand too close to another person for example, or start an inappropriate subject of conversation
appear to be insensitive because they have not recognised how someone else is feeling
prefer to spend time alone rather than seeking out the company of other people
not seek comfort from other people
appear to behave 'strangely' or inappropriately, as it is not always easy for them to express feelings, emotions or needs.
Difficulties with social interaction can mean that people with autism find it hard to form friendships: some may want to interact with other people and make friends, but may be unsure how to go about this.
Difficulty with social imagination
"We have trouble working out what other people know. We have more difficulty guessing what other people are thinking."
Social imagination allows us to understand and predict other people's behaviour, make sense of abstract ideas, and to imagine situations outside our immediate daily routine. Difficulties with social imagination mean that people with autism find it hard to:
understand and interpret other people's thoughts, feelings and actions
predict what will happen next, or what could happen next
understand the concept of danger, for example that running on to a busy road poses a threat to them
engage in imaginative play and activities: children with autism may enjoy some imaginative play but prefer to act out the same scenes each time
prepare for change and plan for the future
cope in new or unfamiliar situations.
Difficulties with social imagination should not be confused with a lack of imagination. Many people with autism are very creative and may be, for example, accomplished artists, musicians or writers.
Other related characteristics
Love of routines
"One young person with autism attended a day service. He would be dropped off by taxi, walk up to the door of the day service, knock on it and be let in. One day, the door opened before he could knock and a person came out. Rather than go in through the open door, he returned to the taxi and began the routine again."
The world can seem a very unpredictable and confusing place to people with autism, who often prefer to have a fixed daily routine so that they know what is going to happen every day. This routine can extend to always wanting to travel the same way to and from school or work, or eat exactly the same food for breakfast.
Rules can also be important: it may be difficult for a person with autism to take a different approach to something once they have been taught the 'right' way to do it. People with autism may not be comfortable with the idea of change, but can cope well if they are prepared for it in advance.
Sensory sensitivity
"Rowan loves art but he hates wearing a shirt to protect his clothing - the feeling of the fabric against his skin causes him distress. We have agreed with his school that he can wear a loose-fitting apron instead."
People with autism may experience some form of sensory sensitivity. This can occur in one or more of the five senses - sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. A person's senses are either intensified (hypersensitive) or under-sensitive (hypo-sensitive).
For example, a person with autism may find certain background sounds, which other people ignore or block out, unbearably loud or distracting. This can cause anxiety or even physical pain.
People who are hypo-sensitive may not feel pain or extremes of temperature. Some may rock, spin or flap their hands to stimulate sensation, to help with balance and posture or to deal with stress.
People with sensory sensitivity may also find it harder to use their body awareness system. This system tells us where our bodies are, so for those with reduced body awareness, it can be harder to navigate rooms avoiding obstructions, stand at an appropriate distance from other people and carry out 'fine motor' tasks such as tying shoelaces.
Special interests
"My art activity has enabled me to become a part of society. When there is something that a person with autism does well, it should be encouraged and cultivated."
Many people with autism have intense special interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong, and can be anything from art or music, to trains or computers. Some people with autism may eventually be able to work or study in related areas. For others, it will remain a hobby.
A special interest may sometimes be unusual. One person with autism loved collecting rubbish, for example; with encouragement, this was channelled into an interest in recycling and the environment.
Learning disabilities
"I have a helper who sits with me and if I'm stuck on a word she helps me. It makes a big difference."
People with autism may have learning disabilities, which can affect all aspects of someone's life, from studying in school, to learning how to wash themselves or make a meal. As with autism, people can have different 'degrees' of learning disability, so some will be able to live fairly independently - although they may need a degree of support to achieve this - while others may require lifelong, specialist support. However, all people with autism can, and do, learn and develop with the right sort of support.
Other conditions are sometimes associated with autism. These may include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or learning difficulties such as dyslexia and dyspraxia.
Who is affected by autism?
Autism is much more common than most people think. There are over half a million people in the UK with autism - that's around 1 in 100 people.
People from all nationalities and cultural, religious and social backgrounds can have autism, although it appears to affect more men than women. It is a lifelong condition: children with autism grow up to become adults with autism.
What causes autism?
The exact cause of autism is still being investigated. However, research suggests that a combination of factors - genetic and environmental - may account for changes in brain development.
Autism is not caused by a person's upbringing, their social circumstances and is not the fault of the individual with the condition.
Is there a cure?
At present, there is no 'cure' for autism. However, there is a range of interventions - methods of enabling learning and development - which people may find to be helpful. Many of these are detailed on our website: www.autism.org.uk/approaches
What is a diagnosis?
A diagnosis is the formal identification of autism, usually by a health professional such as a paediatrician or a psychiatrist. Having a diagnosis is helpful for two reasons:
it helps people with autism (and their families) to understand why they may experience certain difficulties and what they can do about them
it allows people to access services and support.
People's GPs can refer them to a specialist who is able to make a diagnosis. Many people are diagnosed as children; their parents and carers can ask GPs for a referral.
Some professionals may refer to autism by a different name, such as autism or autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), classic autism or Kanner autism, pervasive developmental disorder (PDD) or high-functioning autism (HFA).
Where do I go next?
Our Autism Helpline offers confidential information and advice on autism and related issues.
Tel: 0845 070 4004
(open 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday)
Email: autismhelpline@nas.org.ukWellness for Peace: HUMAN BEHAVIORS: Understanding Autism: "
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Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wellness for Peace Tips: Healthy Arguments: Confide In a Therapist, Not A Friend
"Confide In a Therapist, Not A Friend, Friends are great ways to vent our frustrations out about our relationships. This is because good friends are always supportive no matter how things are going. They care about you that's why you're friends. But sometimes the advice that friends give (even though they have good intentions) doesnt always present the best solution to fix the issues within your relationship. Instead, consider seeing a therapist or counselor. Someone who specializes in relationships can determine the actual problems of the relationship and, even better, providing possible solutions."
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace Tips: Healthy Arguments: Don't Yell
"Dont Yell!!! Yelling is a good way to shut down your discussion almost immediately. People close themselves off and stop listening if they are being yelled at. Aside from physical and emotional stress that could develop from yelling all the time, people simply do not get any effective communication done. So next time, use a calm voice to find an answer to the problem rather than yelling at your partner. Your body will thank you in the long run."
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace Tips: Healthy Arguments: "Your Spouse is Annoying Accept It
"Your Spouse is Annoying Accept It. Nobody is perfect that's a fact. Your partner's imperfections help to make him or her the person that you fell for way back when. Try to view these annoyances in a positive light: They're reminders of the quirks you used to love about your partner, rather than the start of your irreconcilable differences."
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
4 Tips to Healthy Arguments | ThirdAge: 'via Blog this'
Wellness for Peace Tips: Healthy Arguments: ARGUE WELL
You're going to argue about things. Thats inevitable. The tip is to do it in a stress free way. The second that a critique or demand comes into play, stress is sure to follow. Its best to discuss the situation in a neutral tone of voice and with an open mind towards your partners views . Then try to come up with the best solution possible."
'via Blog this'
'via Blog this'
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Your reflection offers visual cues to what may be happening within your internal systems--such as your heart, stomach, hormones...
Wellness for Peace: Health Signs in Your Face: Find out!: "How Traditional Chinese Medicine Reads the Body to Detect Disease. Most people don't realize that their face provides information about what's going on beneath the surface. Your body speaks a unique language to communicate the imbalances within it. Chinese medicine has mastered the art and science of reading the body's language over its five thousand year practice. Each part of your face reflects a different element from the Chinese 5-Element network (fire, earth, water, metal, and wood), which in turn, corresponds to a particular organ grouping. Your reflection offers visual cues to what may be happening within your internal systems--such as your heart, stomach, hormones and even your mind and spirit.
In some situations visual cues will immediately alert you of an issue, and you can take measures immediately. But the real value of self-inspection is in detecting subtle imbalances and dealing with them preventively through diet, herbal supplementation, and lifestyle practices. By reading your body, you can take care of small problems before they become big health issues."
The Forehead
According to Chinese medicine, the forehead corresponds to the fire element. This is associated with the heart and small intestine organ network, as well as the mind and spirit.
Forehead: Fire Element - Heart/Small Intestine
When examining your forehead, look for redness or small blood vessels that appear as discoloration, which could indicate a heart problem. Skin discoloration could also be caused by a recent emotionally-charged experience, such as a breakup or loss. It is common for people whose emotions are regularly in turmoil to have a constant furrow between their eyebrows.
A heart attack can often be foretold by a subtle bluish-green hue on the forehead. If you have discoloration on your forehead accompanied by heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, and tingling or pain in your left arm, schedule an appointment with a cardiologist or visit an emergency room, if necessary.
Your Nose
Your nose corresponds to the earth element, indicating a connection to the stomach, spleen and pancreas network.
Nose: Earth Element - Spleen/Pancreas/Stomach
Symptoms of internal discord typically show up as a pimple on the tip or side of your nose. Think back to your meals from the previous day. Did you eat a lot of spicy, deep-fried, fatty, or rich foods? How about chocolate? If the answer is "yes," your choice of cuisine could be the problem. As a result, you may suffer from indigestion, constipation, or diarrhea.
Broken capillaries or redness across the bridge of the nose could reveal alcohol abuse, or it may simply mean excessive worry and stress, which taxes your earth element network. I had a patient who would de-stress from her taxing executive job with alcohol and sweets, and her nose always gave these indiscretions away. I recommended she calm her nerves in healthier ways, like meditation and other stress-releasing techniques.
Your Chin
The chin area is related to the water element, which is internally associated to your kidney and bladder organ network, including the hormonal system and glands.
Chin: Water Element - Kidney/Bladder
Blemishes, discoloration and dark patches of skin around the chin and mouth could indicate problems within the kidneys or bladder. Recurrent acne breakouts around your chin may signify a hormonal imbalance. The problem is most often due to the body producing excess estrogen or testosterone and tends to be coupled with irregular menstruation in women and prostate symptoms in men.
Be sure to also look at your philtrum, the indentation just above your lips. This small area relates to the uterus and ovaries in women and the prostate and genitals in men. Horizontal lines, blemishes or discoloration across the philtrum may indicate infertility issues due to problems such as endometriosis or uterine fibroid cysts.
According to Chinese medicine, people who have a small chin are genetically predispositioned to weakness in their kidney and bladder network. However, this doesn't mean that small-chinned people will develop kidney disease. The information is simply an alert that a tendency may exist, and patients can choose to make lifestyle changes to prevent the development of a condition.
Your Right Cheek
Your right cheek corresponds to the metal element, meaning this area of your face is connected to the lung and large intestine network.
Right Cheek: Metal Element - Lung/Large Intenstine
Problems in the lung and large intestine network present themselves as discoloration, blemishes and skin problems on your right cheek. A mild acne breakout, eczema patch or slight redness may mean a cold is coming on. Lung illness or upper respiratory ailments also trigger visual symptoms on the right cheek.
People who are prone to respiratory allergies or asthma have a tendency to have a reddish, scaly eczema, a slight rash or slight bluish-green hue along the right cheek--showing too much heat or inflammation in the respiratory system, or a lack of oxygen from bronchial constriction. One of my many pediatric patients who suffered from allergic asthma always displayed an eczema-like patch right before a flare up of her allergy attack, a very useful tip off. I instructed her mother to treat her right away with herbs for allergies to avert an asthma attack.
Your Left Cheek
The left cheek corresponds to your wood element, or the liver-gallbladder network.
Left Cheek: Wood Element - Liver/Gallbladder
Broken capillaries and redness, especially up next to the bridge of your nose, indicate heat, inflammation or congestion of toxins in the liver. Bulging veins, redness, and rash sometimes signal high blood pressure and pent-up anger. A yellowish hue under the left eye may indicate gallstones or high triglycerides or cholesterol, which are processed by the liver-gall bladder network.
Problems in this part of the face can also reveal emotional issues, such as anger and depression, since the liver and gallbladder network includes the nervous system.
Please keep in mind that there are many ways that your body alerts you to imbalances. As you learn this visual method, you'll want to be able to confirm your findings from one body part with observations from others, such as the eyes, tongue, and nails. Want to learn more? Get your own copy of Secrets of Self-Healing, where you can find in-depth information.
Keep all five elements healthy and get a whole body tune-up with a balanced combination of 44 traditional Chinese herbs that support healthy function of the bodily systems, the Five Elements of Health Formula.
I hope this article helps you find out what your face is telling you! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.
In some situations visual cues will immediately alert you of an issue, and you can take measures immediately. But the real value of self-inspection is in detecting subtle imbalances and dealing with them preventively through diet, herbal supplementation, and lifestyle practices. By reading your body, you can take care of small problems before they become big health issues."
The Forehead
According to Chinese medicine, the forehead corresponds to the fire element. This is associated with the heart and small intestine organ network, as well as the mind and spirit.
Forehead: Fire Element - Heart/Small Intestine
When examining your forehead, look for redness or small blood vessels that appear as discoloration, which could indicate a heart problem. Skin discoloration could also be caused by a recent emotionally-charged experience, such as a breakup or loss. It is common for people whose emotions are regularly in turmoil to have a constant furrow between their eyebrows.
A heart attack can often be foretold by a subtle bluish-green hue on the forehead. If you have discoloration on your forehead accompanied by heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, and tingling or pain in your left arm, schedule an appointment with a cardiologist or visit an emergency room, if necessary.
Your Nose
Your nose corresponds to the earth element, indicating a connection to the stomach, spleen and pancreas network.
Nose: Earth Element - Spleen/Pancreas/Stomach
Symptoms of internal discord typically show up as a pimple on the tip or side of your nose. Think back to your meals from the previous day. Did you eat a lot of spicy, deep-fried, fatty, or rich foods? How about chocolate? If the answer is "yes," your choice of cuisine could be the problem. As a result, you may suffer from indigestion, constipation, or diarrhea.
Broken capillaries or redness across the bridge of the nose could reveal alcohol abuse, or it may simply mean excessive worry and stress, which taxes your earth element network. I had a patient who would de-stress from her taxing executive job with alcohol and sweets, and her nose always gave these indiscretions away. I recommended she calm her nerves in healthier ways, like meditation and other stress-releasing techniques.
Your Chin
The chin area is related to the water element, which is internally associated to your kidney and bladder organ network, including the hormonal system and glands.
Chin: Water Element - Kidney/Bladder
Blemishes, discoloration and dark patches of skin around the chin and mouth could indicate problems within the kidneys or bladder. Recurrent acne breakouts around your chin may signify a hormonal imbalance. The problem is most often due to the body producing excess estrogen or testosterone and tends to be coupled with irregular menstruation in women and prostate symptoms in men.
Be sure to also look at your philtrum, the indentation just above your lips. This small area relates to the uterus and ovaries in women and the prostate and genitals in men. Horizontal lines, blemishes or discoloration across the philtrum may indicate infertility issues due to problems such as endometriosis or uterine fibroid cysts.
According to Chinese medicine, people who have a small chin are genetically predispositioned to weakness in their kidney and bladder network. However, this doesn't mean that small-chinned people will develop kidney disease. The information is simply an alert that a tendency may exist, and patients can choose to make lifestyle changes to prevent the development of a condition.
Your Right Cheek
Your right cheek corresponds to the metal element, meaning this area of your face is connected to the lung and large intestine network.
Right Cheek: Metal Element - Lung/Large Intenstine
Problems in the lung and large intestine network present themselves as discoloration, blemishes and skin problems on your right cheek. A mild acne breakout, eczema patch or slight redness may mean a cold is coming on. Lung illness or upper respiratory ailments also trigger visual symptoms on the right cheek.
People who are prone to respiratory allergies or asthma have a tendency to have a reddish, scaly eczema, a slight rash or slight bluish-green hue along the right cheek--showing too much heat or inflammation in the respiratory system, or a lack of oxygen from bronchial constriction. One of my many pediatric patients who suffered from allergic asthma always displayed an eczema-like patch right before a flare up of her allergy attack, a very useful tip off. I instructed her mother to treat her right away with herbs for allergies to avert an asthma attack.
Your Left Cheek
The left cheek corresponds to your wood element, or the liver-gallbladder network.
Left Cheek: Wood Element - Liver/Gallbladder
Broken capillaries and redness, especially up next to the bridge of your nose, indicate heat, inflammation or congestion of toxins in the liver. Bulging veins, redness, and rash sometimes signal high blood pressure and pent-up anger. A yellowish hue under the left eye may indicate gallstones or high triglycerides or cholesterol, which are processed by the liver-gall bladder network.
Problems in this part of the face can also reveal emotional issues, such as anger and depression, since the liver and gallbladder network includes the nervous system.
Please keep in mind that there are many ways that your body alerts you to imbalances. As you learn this visual method, you'll want to be able to confirm your findings from one body part with observations from others, such as the eyes, tongue, and nails. Want to learn more? Get your own copy of Secrets of Self-Healing, where you can find in-depth information.
Keep all five elements healthy and get a whole body tune-up with a balanced combination of 44 traditional Chinese herbs that support healthy function of the bodily systems, the Five Elements of Health Formula.
I hope this article helps you find out what your face is telling you! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.
Source:
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Being In-Love, Infatuation / Limemerence
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: Understanding the Emotion of Being In-Love, Infatuation / Limemerence: "Limerence refers to an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessional form of romantic love.[1]
The concept is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love. Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment and preoccupations with the love object.
According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: limerence, what she calls "loving attachment", and "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.[2]
"
Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. Basically, it is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone.
Limerence is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. It is distinguished by a lack of trust, loyalty, commitment, and reciprocity. In the case of limerence, there is more often than not an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable.
It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation. In common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolating from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived.
Origins
The concept of limerence first originated in Tennov's research in the mid-1960s. She interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love. Tennov coined the term "limerence" in 1977, publishing it in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love".
Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling. While limerence does not require it, those concerns may certainly be incorporated.
Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return. Physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction.
Components
Limerence involves intrusive thinking about the limerent object.[3] Other characteristics include acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence. In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.
Feelings of limerence can be intensified through adversity, obstacles, or distance. A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably. This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background. In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.
Intrusive thinking
During the height of limerence, thoughts of the limerent object (or person) are at once persistent, involuntary and intrusive. Limerence is first and foremost a condition of cognitive obsession. All events, associations, stimuli, and experiences return thoughts to the limerent object with unnerving consistency.
The constant thoughts about the limerent object define all other experiences. If a certain thought has no previous connection with the limerent object, immediately one is made. Limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality[citation needed], because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic and somewhat possible.
Fantasies that are concerned with farfetched ideas are usually dropped by the fantasizer.[citation needed] Sometimes it is retrospective; actual events are replayed from memory with great vividness. This form predominates when what is viewed as evidence of possible reciprocation can be re-experienced (a kind of selective or revisionist history).
Otherwise, the long fantasy is anticipatory; it begins in the everyday world and climaxes at the attainment of the limerent goal. A limerent fantasy can also involve an unusual, often tragic, event.
The long fantasies form bridges between the limerent's ordinary life and that intensely desired ecstatic moment. The duration and complexity of a fantasy depend on the availability of time and freedom from distractions. The bliss of the imagined moment of consummation is greater when events imagined to precede it are possible.
In fact they often represent grave departures from the probable. Not always is it entirely pleasant, and when rejection seems likely the thoughts focus on despair, sometimes to the point of suicide. The pleasantness or unpleasantness of the state seems almost unrelated to the intensity of the reaction.
Although the direction of feeling, i.e. happy versus unhappy, shifts rapidly, the intensity of intrusive and involuntary thinking alters less rapidly, and alters only in response to an accumulation of experiences with the particular limerent object.
Fantasies are occasionally dreamed by the one experiencing limerence. Dreams give out strong emotion and happiness when experienced, but often end with despair when the subject awakens. Dreams can reawaken strong feelings toward the limerent object after the feelings have declined.
Fear of rejection
Along with the emphasis on positive qualities perceived in the limerent object, and preoccupation with the hope for return of feelings, there is a fear that limerence will be met by the very opposite of reciprocation: rejection. Considerable self-doubt and uncertainty is experienced and it causes pain, but also enhances desire to a certain extent.
However in most cases, this is what helps to eventually destroy the limerence if a suitably long period of time has passed without reciprocation.
Limerent fear of rejection is usually confined to shyness in the presence of the limerent object, but it can also spread to situations involving other potential limerent objects, though generally it does not affect other spheres of life.
Although it appears that limerence blossoms under some forms of adversity, extreme caution and shyness may prevent a relationship from occurring, even when both parties are interested. This results from a fear of exposing one's undesirable characteristics to the limerent object.
Hope
Limerence develops and is sustained when there is a certain balance of hope and uncertainty. The base for limerent hope is not in objective reality but reality as it is perceived. The inclination is to sift through nuances of speech and subtleties of behavior for evidence of limerent hope. "Little things" are noticed and endlessly analyzed for meaning.
The belief that the limerent object does not and will not reciprocate can only come about with great difficulty. Limerence can be carried quite far before acknowledgment of rejection is genuine, especially if it has not been addressed openly by the object of limerence.
Excessive concern over trivia may not be entirely unfounded. Body language can indicate a return of feeling. What the limerent object said and did is recalled with vividness. Alternative meanings of those behaviors recalled are searched out.
Each word and gesture is permanently available for review, especially those which can be interpreted as evidence in favor of "return of feeling." When objects, people, places or situations are encountered with the limerent object, they are vividly remembered, especially if the limerent object 'interacted' with them in some way.
Physical effects
The physiological correlations of limerence are heart palpitations, trembling, pallor, flushing, pupil dilation and general weakness. Awkwardness, stuttering, shyness, confusion predominate at the behavioral level, dizziness, Syncope (Fainting/Passing out), Illness (Sickness, dizziness, headaches, etc.)
There is apprehension, nervousness, and anxiety due to terrible worry that any action may bring about disaster. Many of the commonly associated physiological reactions are the result of the limerent fear. Some people however may find that these effects come most strongly either immediately at or some time after contact with the object of limerence, and this is accompanied with an acute feeling of ecstasy or despair, depending on the turn of events beforehand.
The super-sensitivity that is heightened by fear of rejection can get in the way of interpreting the limerent object's body language and lead to inaction and wasted opportunities. Body signals may be emitted that confuse and interfere with attaining the limerent object.
A condition of sustained alertness, a heightening of awareness and an enormous fund of energy to deploy in pursuit of the limerent aim is developed. The sensation of limerence is felt in the midpoint of the chest, bottom of the throat, guts, or in some cases in the abdominal region.[citation needed] This can be interpreted as ecstasy at times of mutuality, but its presence is most noticeable during despair at times of rejection.
Fainting
Syncope, or "fainting", very rarely happens, but takes place when the person is deeply in love with the limerent object[citation needed], physically, and personality-wise, and is usually only for small periods, 1–5 seconds. It is a sign of true obsession for the limerent object, reaching the peak of limerence (very rarely happens) and is often accompanied by non-stop thinking of the limerent object for long periods of time.
Game-playing
No matter how intensely reciprocation is desired it cannot simply be requested. To ask is to risk premature self-disclosure. The interplay is delicate, with the reactions of each person inextricably bound to the behavior of the other - or at least so in the mind of the Limerant.
Progression toward ecstatic mutuality may not involve externally created difficulties but feinting and parrying, minor deceptions, and falsehoods. The uncertainty required by the limerent reaction may often be merely a matter of perception. Despite ideals and philosophy, a process begins that bears unquestionable similarity to a game. The prize is not trifling: reciprocation produces ecstasy.
Whether it will be won, whether it will be shared, and what the final outcome may be depends on the effectiveness of actions and those of the limerent object; indeed on skill. Deviations from straightforward honesty become essential limerent strategies.
Fears lead to proceeding with a caution that will hopefully protect from disaster. Reason to hope combined with reason to doubt keeps passion at fever pitch and too-ready limerent availability cools. Open declaration of true feelings may stop the process.
Limerent uncertainty as well as projection can be viewed as the consequence of the limerent inclination to hide feelings. Because one of the invariant characteristics of limerence is extreme emotional dependency on the limerent object’s behavior, the actual course of limerence must depend on the actions and reactions of both people.
Uncertainty increases limerence; increased limerence dictates altered action, which serves to increase or decrease limerence in the other according to the interpretation given. The interplay is delicate if the relationship hovers near mutuality; a subtle imbalance, constantly shifting, appears to maintain it.
In most cases each person knows who is more limerent, but this is not always so. In most cases the limerents may believe a certain viewpoint, but the constant uncertainty means they are doubting or questioning themselves for most of the time regarding the other person. This can vary widely between different people.
Sexuality
Awareness of physical attraction plays a key role in the development of limerence, but is not enough to satisfy the limerent desire, and is almost never the main focus—instead, the limerent focuses on what could be defined as the "beneficial attributes".
A person, to become the limerent object, must be a potential sex partner. Limerence can be intensified after a sexual relationship has begun, and with more intense limerence there is greater desire for sexual contact. However, while sexual surrender once indicated the end of uncertainty in the limerent object, in modern times this is not necessarily the case.
Sexual fantasies are distinct from limerent ones. Limerent fantasy is rooted in reality and is intrusive rather than voluntary. Sexual fantasies are under more or less voluntary control and may also involve strangers, imaginary individuals, and situations that could not take place.
People can become aroused by the thought of sexual partners, acts, and situations that are not truly desired, whereas every detail of the limerent fantasy is passionately desired actually to take place. Limerence sometimes increases sexual interest in other partners when the limerent object is unreceptive or unavailable, such as when married people find sex with their spouses more pleasurable when they become limerent over someone else.
Limerent reaction
The limerent reaction is a composite reaction; that is, it actually describes a unique series of reactions. These reactions occur only where misperceptions meet adversity in the context of a romance. Perhaps because of this unique specificity, limerent reactions can be uniquely quantified and predicted according to the schema described below.
Involvement increases if obstacles are externally imposed or if the limerent object’s feelings are doubted. Only if the limerent object were to be revealed as highly undesirable might limerence subside. The presence of some degree of doubt causes the intensity of the feelings to rise further. The stage is reached at which the reaction is virtually impossible to dislodge.
This adversity may be superficial or deep, internal or external, so that an individual may generate deep adversity where none exists. Also "romance," as it were, need not be present in any genuine way for a limerent reaction to proceed.
The course of limerence results in a more intrusive thinking pattern. This thinking pattern is an expectant and often joyous period with the initial focusing on the limerent object’s admirable qualities; crystallization. Then, under appropriate conditions of hope and uncertainty, the limerence intensifies further.
With evidence of reciprocation from the limerent object, a state of extreme pleasure, even euphoria, is enjoyed. Thoughts are mainly occupied with considering and reconsidering what is attractive in the limerent object, replaying whatever events may have thus far transpired with the limerent object, and appreciating personal qualities which are perceived as possibly having sparked interest in the limerent object.
At peak crystallization, almost all waking thoughts revolve around the limerent object. After this peak, the feelings eventually decline.
Fantasies are preferred to virtually any other activity with the exception of activities that are believed to help obtain the limerent object, and activities that involve actually being in the presence of the limerent object. The motivation to attain a "relationship" continues to intensify so long as a proper mix of hope and uncertainty exist.
Tennov estimates, based on both questionnaire and interview data, that the average limerent reaction duration, from the moment of initiation until a feeling of neutrality is reached, is approximately three years. The extremes may be as brief as a few weeks or several years. When limerence is brief, maximum intensity may not have been attained.
Limerence generally lasts between 18 months and three years, but further studies on unrequited limerence have suggested longer durations.
Bond varieties
Main article: Human bonding
Once the limerent reaction has initiated, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence. The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity of the limerence.
The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship.
With an affectional bond, neither partner is limerent. With a Limerent-Nonlimerent bond, one partner is limerent. In a Limerent-Limerent bond, both partners are limerent.
Affectional bonding characterize those affectionate sexual relationships where neither partner is limerent; couples tend to be in love, but do not report continuous and unwanted intrusive thinking, feeling intense need for exclusivity, or define their goals in terms of reciprocity. These types of bonded couples tend to emphasize compatibility of interests, mutual preferences in leisure activities, ability to work together, and in some cases a degree of relative contentment.
The bulk of relationships, however, according to Tennov, are those between a limerent person and a nonlimerent other, i.e. limerent-nonlimerent bonding. These bonds are characterized by unequal reciprocation.
Lastly, those relationship bonds in which there exists mutual reciprocation are defined as limerent-limerent bondings. Tennov argues since limerence itself is an "unstable state" that mutually limerent bonds would be expected to be short-lived; mixed relationships probably last longer than limerent-limerent relationships; and affectional bondings tend to be characterized as "old marrieds" whose interactions are typically both stable and mutually gratifying.
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The concept is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love. Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment and preoccupations with the love object.
According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: limerence, what she calls "loving attachment", and "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.[2]
"
Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. Basically, it is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone.
Limerence is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. It is distinguished by a lack of trust, loyalty, commitment, and reciprocity. In the case of limerence, there is more often than not an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable.
It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation. In common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolating from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived.
Origins
The concept of limerence first originated in Tennov's research in the mid-1960s. She interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love. Tennov coined the term "limerence" in 1977, publishing it in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love".
Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling. While limerence does not require it, those concerns may certainly be incorporated.
Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return. Physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction.
Components
Limerence involves intrusive thinking about the limerent object.[3] Other characteristics include acute longing for reciprocation, fear of rejection, and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence. In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object.
Feelings of limerence can be intensified through adversity, obstacles, or distance. A limerent person may have acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably. This may include a tendency to devise, fabricate, or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
A person experiencing limerence has a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background. In their thoughts, a limerent person tends to emphasize what is admirable in the limerent object and to avoid any negative or problematic attributes.
Intrusive thinking
During the height of limerence, thoughts of the limerent object (or person) are at once persistent, involuntary and intrusive. Limerence is first and foremost a condition of cognitive obsession. All events, associations, stimuli, and experiences return thoughts to the limerent object with unnerving consistency.
The constant thoughts about the limerent object define all other experiences. If a certain thought has no previous connection with the limerent object, immediately one is made. Limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality[citation needed], because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic and somewhat possible.
Fantasies that are concerned with farfetched ideas are usually dropped by the fantasizer.[citation needed] Sometimes it is retrospective; actual events are replayed from memory with great vividness. This form predominates when what is viewed as evidence of possible reciprocation can be re-experienced (a kind of selective or revisionist history).
Otherwise, the long fantasy is anticipatory; it begins in the everyday world and climaxes at the attainment of the limerent goal. A limerent fantasy can also involve an unusual, often tragic, event.
The long fantasies form bridges between the limerent's ordinary life and that intensely desired ecstatic moment. The duration and complexity of a fantasy depend on the availability of time and freedom from distractions. The bliss of the imagined moment of consummation is greater when events imagined to precede it are possible.
In fact they often represent grave departures from the probable. Not always is it entirely pleasant, and when rejection seems likely the thoughts focus on despair, sometimes to the point of suicide. The pleasantness or unpleasantness of the state seems almost unrelated to the intensity of the reaction.
Although the direction of feeling, i.e. happy versus unhappy, shifts rapidly, the intensity of intrusive and involuntary thinking alters less rapidly, and alters only in response to an accumulation of experiences with the particular limerent object.
Fantasies are occasionally dreamed by the one experiencing limerence. Dreams give out strong emotion and happiness when experienced, but often end with despair when the subject awakens. Dreams can reawaken strong feelings toward the limerent object after the feelings have declined.
Fear of rejection
Along with the emphasis on positive qualities perceived in the limerent object, and preoccupation with the hope for return of feelings, there is a fear that limerence will be met by the very opposite of reciprocation: rejection. Considerable self-doubt and uncertainty is experienced and it causes pain, but also enhances desire to a certain extent.
However in most cases, this is what helps to eventually destroy the limerence if a suitably long period of time has passed without reciprocation.
Limerent fear of rejection is usually confined to shyness in the presence of the limerent object, but it can also spread to situations involving other potential limerent objects, though generally it does not affect other spheres of life.
Although it appears that limerence blossoms under some forms of adversity, extreme caution and shyness may prevent a relationship from occurring, even when both parties are interested. This results from a fear of exposing one's undesirable characteristics to the limerent object.
Hope
Limerence develops and is sustained when there is a certain balance of hope and uncertainty. The base for limerent hope is not in objective reality but reality as it is perceived. The inclination is to sift through nuances of speech and subtleties of behavior for evidence of limerent hope. "Little things" are noticed and endlessly analyzed for meaning.
The belief that the limerent object does not and will not reciprocate can only come about with great difficulty. Limerence can be carried quite far before acknowledgment of rejection is genuine, especially if it has not been addressed openly by the object of limerence.
Excessive concern over trivia may not be entirely unfounded. Body language can indicate a return of feeling. What the limerent object said and did is recalled with vividness. Alternative meanings of those behaviors recalled are searched out.
Each word and gesture is permanently available for review, especially those which can be interpreted as evidence in favor of "return of feeling." When objects, people, places or situations are encountered with the limerent object, they are vividly remembered, especially if the limerent object 'interacted' with them in some way.
Physical effects
The physiological correlations of limerence are heart palpitations, trembling, pallor, flushing, pupil dilation and general weakness. Awkwardness, stuttering, shyness, confusion predominate at the behavioral level, dizziness, Syncope (Fainting/Passing out), Illness (Sickness, dizziness, headaches, etc.)
There is apprehension, nervousness, and anxiety due to terrible worry that any action may bring about disaster. Many of the commonly associated physiological reactions are the result of the limerent fear. Some people however may find that these effects come most strongly either immediately at or some time after contact with the object of limerence, and this is accompanied with an acute feeling of ecstasy or despair, depending on the turn of events beforehand.
The super-sensitivity that is heightened by fear of rejection can get in the way of interpreting the limerent object's body language and lead to inaction and wasted opportunities. Body signals may be emitted that confuse and interfere with attaining the limerent object.
A condition of sustained alertness, a heightening of awareness and an enormous fund of energy to deploy in pursuit of the limerent aim is developed. The sensation of limerence is felt in the midpoint of the chest, bottom of the throat, guts, or in some cases in the abdominal region.[citation needed] This can be interpreted as ecstasy at times of mutuality, but its presence is most noticeable during despair at times of rejection.
Fainting
Syncope, or "fainting", very rarely happens, but takes place when the person is deeply in love with the limerent object[citation needed], physically, and personality-wise, and is usually only for small periods, 1–5 seconds. It is a sign of true obsession for the limerent object, reaching the peak of limerence (very rarely happens) and is often accompanied by non-stop thinking of the limerent object for long periods of time.
Game-playing
No matter how intensely reciprocation is desired it cannot simply be requested. To ask is to risk premature self-disclosure. The interplay is delicate, with the reactions of each person inextricably bound to the behavior of the other - or at least so in the mind of the Limerant.
Progression toward ecstatic mutuality may not involve externally created difficulties but feinting and parrying, minor deceptions, and falsehoods. The uncertainty required by the limerent reaction may often be merely a matter of perception. Despite ideals and philosophy, a process begins that bears unquestionable similarity to a game. The prize is not trifling: reciprocation produces ecstasy.
Whether it will be won, whether it will be shared, and what the final outcome may be depends on the effectiveness of actions and those of the limerent object; indeed on skill. Deviations from straightforward honesty become essential limerent strategies.
Fears lead to proceeding with a caution that will hopefully protect from disaster. Reason to hope combined with reason to doubt keeps passion at fever pitch and too-ready limerent availability cools. Open declaration of true feelings may stop the process.
Limerent uncertainty as well as projection can be viewed as the consequence of the limerent inclination to hide feelings. Because one of the invariant characteristics of limerence is extreme emotional dependency on the limerent object’s behavior, the actual course of limerence must depend on the actions and reactions of both people.
Uncertainty increases limerence; increased limerence dictates altered action, which serves to increase or decrease limerence in the other according to the interpretation given. The interplay is delicate if the relationship hovers near mutuality; a subtle imbalance, constantly shifting, appears to maintain it.
In most cases each person knows who is more limerent, but this is not always so. In most cases the limerents may believe a certain viewpoint, but the constant uncertainty means they are doubting or questioning themselves for most of the time regarding the other person. This can vary widely between different people.
Sexuality
Awareness of physical attraction plays a key role in the development of limerence, but is not enough to satisfy the limerent desire, and is almost never the main focus—instead, the limerent focuses on what could be defined as the "beneficial attributes".
A person, to become the limerent object, must be a potential sex partner. Limerence can be intensified after a sexual relationship has begun, and with more intense limerence there is greater desire for sexual contact. However, while sexual surrender once indicated the end of uncertainty in the limerent object, in modern times this is not necessarily the case.
Sexual fantasies are distinct from limerent ones. Limerent fantasy is rooted in reality and is intrusive rather than voluntary. Sexual fantasies are under more or less voluntary control and may also involve strangers, imaginary individuals, and situations that could not take place.
People can become aroused by the thought of sexual partners, acts, and situations that are not truly desired, whereas every detail of the limerent fantasy is passionately desired actually to take place. Limerence sometimes increases sexual interest in other partners when the limerent object is unreceptive or unavailable, such as when married people find sex with their spouses more pleasurable when they become limerent over someone else.
Limerent reaction
The limerent reaction is a composite reaction; that is, it actually describes a unique series of reactions. These reactions occur only where misperceptions meet adversity in the context of a romance. Perhaps because of this unique specificity, limerent reactions can be uniquely quantified and predicted according to the schema described below.
Involvement increases if obstacles are externally imposed or if the limerent object’s feelings are doubted. Only if the limerent object were to be revealed as highly undesirable might limerence subside. The presence of some degree of doubt causes the intensity of the feelings to rise further. The stage is reached at which the reaction is virtually impossible to dislodge.
This adversity may be superficial or deep, internal or external, so that an individual may generate deep adversity where none exists. Also "romance," as it were, need not be present in any genuine way for a limerent reaction to proceed.
The course of limerence results in a more intrusive thinking pattern. This thinking pattern is an expectant and often joyous period with the initial focusing on the limerent object’s admirable qualities; crystallization. Then, under appropriate conditions of hope and uncertainty, the limerence intensifies further.
With evidence of reciprocation from the limerent object, a state of extreme pleasure, even euphoria, is enjoyed. Thoughts are mainly occupied with considering and reconsidering what is attractive in the limerent object, replaying whatever events may have thus far transpired with the limerent object, and appreciating personal qualities which are perceived as possibly having sparked interest in the limerent object.
At peak crystallization, almost all waking thoughts revolve around the limerent object. After this peak, the feelings eventually decline.
Fantasies are preferred to virtually any other activity with the exception of activities that are believed to help obtain the limerent object, and activities that involve actually being in the presence of the limerent object. The motivation to attain a "relationship" continues to intensify so long as a proper mix of hope and uncertainty exist.
Tennov estimates, based on both questionnaire and interview data, that the average limerent reaction duration, from the moment of initiation until a feeling of neutrality is reached, is approximately three years. The extremes may be as brief as a few weeks or several years. When limerence is brief, maximum intensity may not have been attained.
Limerence generally lasts between 18 months and three years, but further studies on unrequited limerence have suggested longer durations.
Bond varieties
Main article: Human bonding
Once the limerent reaction has initiated, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence. The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity of the limerence.
The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship.
With an affectional bond, neither partner is limerent. With a Limerent-Nonlimerent bond, one partner is limerent. In a Limerent-Limerent bond, both partners are limerent.
Affectional bonding characterize those affectionate sexual relationships where neither partner is limerent; couples tend to be in love, but do not report continuous and unwanted intrusive thinking, feeling intense need for exclusivity, or define their goals in terms of reciprocity. These types of bonded couples tend to emphasize compatibility of interests, mutual preferences in leisure activities, ability to work together, and in some cases a degree of relative contentment.
The bulk of relationships, however, according to Tennov, are those between a limerent person and a nonlimerent other, i.e. limerent-nonlimerent bonding. These bonds are characterized by unequal reciprocation.
Lastly, those relationship bonds in which there exists mutual reciprocation are defined as limerent-limerent bondings. Tennov argues since limerence itself is an "unstable state" that mutually limerent bonds would be expected to be short-lived; mixed relationships probably last longer than limerent-limerent relationships; and affectional bondings tend to be characterized as "old marrieds" whose interactions are typically both stable and mutually gratifying.
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Meditation also heals sex obsession, alcohol & nicotine dependency & it also balances mental neurons
Wellness for Peace: NATURAL EATING & HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: "The best way to heal ourselves from cancer or prevent the development of cancer cells is to change lifestyle by going back to the basic of eating raw, salad (make sure you clean it well), veggies and fruits, and of course, tofu should be the regular diet. I suggest even if you're not diagnose to have cancer cells yet (probably they are still sleeping), might as well take the precaution. Choose the healthy menu. Sample below:
Breakfast: soy milk, one big bowl of oatmeal with fruits in season, ,brewed coffee (no instant please!) or hot chocolate, banana
Lunch: steamed tofu, steamed vegetables, , red rice (or white rice with red beans), apple or any fruits in season
Dinner: salad (wild, green,& local have less pesticides), wheat bread, , glass of milk or hot tea, fruits in season
Also, put plants in your working area,windows and doors to detoxify your air & refresh you in the morning. Open your windows and expose yourself to the sun early in the morning to heal depression. Before you sleep, do 30-60 mins yoga / meditation / deep breathing and Pray to detoxify your brain with negative thoughts and induce you to sleep soundly. Meditation also heals sex obsession, alcohol & nicotine dependency & it also balances mental neurons.
Eat on time and Sleep on time everyday. In other words, be a nice girl / boy. It pays to be obedient in the long run. No one will take care of you the best as you can but YOU because you know yourself very well.... Start now and enjoy living life at its finest and fullest at a lesser cost, no savings for hospital bills but money instead for enjoyment to travel, explore, create, and discover your innermost talent and more to accomplish your dreams.... as we both go through life extensively in peace with nature and God.
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Peace Guideline to protect your self and relationship to others
Wellness for Peace: Peace Guideline to protect your self and relationship to others: Go placidly, amid the noise and haste.
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly.
Listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons they are vexation to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser person than your self.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be you self.
Especially, do not feign affection; neither, be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as a grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have the right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, & whatever your labors & aspirations.
In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace within your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Desiderata (Author unknown)
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And remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly.
Listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons they are vexation to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser person than your self.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be you self.
Especially, do not feign affection; neither, be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as a grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have the right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, & whatever your labors & aspirations.
In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace within your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Desiderata (Author unknown)
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Monday, October 3, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in nonconfrontational way
Wellness for Peace: Counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper. Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked...Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
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Wellness for Peace: Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand
Wellness for Peace: "Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension. For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." Don't hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want. Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's can hurt feelings and make things worse. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy." Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga."
source: Anger management tips: 10 ways to tame your temper - MayoClinic.com
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source: Anger management tips: 10 ways to tame your temper - MayoClinic.com
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Sunday, October 2, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Anger Management (actual emotion itself tends to have its roots anchored somewhere in the persons psyche)
Wellness for Peace: Anger Management. When People get angry it can come from two types of sources, internal and external. Regardless of which of the two sources, sometimes both, that triggers a persons anger, the actual emotion itself tends to have its roots anchored somewhere in the persons psyche. A man who was brought up in an abusive home may become angry as soon as they hear somebody get verbally loud. A person frustrated over money may get angry when a friend asks for a cigarette. Someone who feels that they are being generalized may get angry with someone who they feel perceives them in this fashion.
People get angry more often as their frustration tolerance lowers. This low tolerance level can be caused by a number of reasons, stress and/or anxiety, physical and/or emotional pain, drugs and alcohol, or simply having a bad day. All of these can lead to a lower frustration tolerance, and when people get angry it can result in unnecessary outbreaks. When anger is out of control it is similar to a person under the influence of drugs. The person's ability to rationalize is compromised and they act purely from emotion."
Note: People get angry when they feel that they are being threatened. It could be a perceived threat to themselves, their ego, or someone they love or sympathize with. It's when anger is uncontrolled that it becomes a negative force with negative consequences
People get angry more often as their frustration tolerance lowers. This low tolerance level can be caused by a number of reasons, stress and/or anxiety, physical and/or emotional pain, drugs and alcohol, or simply having a bad day. All of these can lead to a lower frustration tolerance, and when people get angry it can result in unnecessary outbreaks. When anger is out of control it is similar to a person under the influence of drugs. The person's ability to rationalize is compromised and they act purely from emotion."
Note: People get angry when they feel that they are being threatened. It could be a perceived threat to themselves, their ego, or someone they love or sympathize with. It's when anger is uncontrolled that it becomes a negative force with negative consequences
published by Francisco Herrera
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: Stop the cycle of Use & Abuse by not letting others fix the "pain"
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: "Real love is not Addiction": "The neurochemistry of love can become a drug as difficult to give up as alcohol or cocaine. Words we often associate with addiction include obsessive, excessive, destructive, compulsive, habitual, attached, and dependent. And when you think about it, some of these words are also used to talk about love. And the similarities do not stop there.
The love addict may understand intellectually that their behavior is self destructive, but physically and emotionally they are drawn into it over and over again. The number and variety of out of control behaviors when love is withdrawn are becoming legion in the daily news: “Young woman ends abusive love relationship and is brutally murdered.” “CEO charged with sexual harassment.” “Coach sued for child support by a former lover.” “Domestic abuse charges filed by wife of a professional sports star.” “Public official caught in scandalous affair.” How is it that we are simultaneously seeking wellness and love but descending into a well of violence and obsession?"
The love addict may understand intellectually that their behavior is self destructive, but physically and emotionally they are drawn into it over and over again. The number and variety of out of control behaviors when love is withdrawn are becoming legion in the daily news: “Young woman ends abusive love relationship and is brutally murdered.” “CEO charged with sexual harassment.” “Coach sued for child support by a former lover.” “Domestic abuse charges filed by wife of a professional sports star.” “Public official caught in scandalous affair.” How is it that we are simultaneously seeking wellness and love but descending into a well of violence and obsession?"
(LOVE ADDICTION... WHAT IS IT?
WHO GETS IT? And WHY? by Brenda Schaefer
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: Regain Your Power, Get Out of Love Addiction
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: "Real love is not Addiction": "Love addiction is any unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met. Psychologically, love addiction is a reliance on someone external to the self in an attempt to heal past trauma, get unmet needs fulfilled, avoid fear or emotional pain, solve problems, fill our loneliness and maintain balance. The paradox is that love addiction is an attempt to gain control of our lives, and in so doing; we go out of control by giving personal power to someone outside ourselves. Addictive love is an attempt to satisfy our developmental hunger for security, sensation, power, belonging, and meaning. Love addiction is very often associated with feelings of “never having enough” or “not being enough.” "
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: Steps to getting out of love addiction
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: "Real love is not Addiction": " Why get out of love addiction? The biggest reason is that it limits and stunts our growth as a human and spiritual being.
Steps to getting out of love addiction:
1. Believe that healthy love is possible.
2. Be willing to assess your love life honestly.
3. Accept that the only person you can change is you.
4. Connect the unhealthy aspects of your love life with your inner beliefs and past trauma.
5. Change your beliefs to those that encourage healthy love
6. Let go of fear.
7. Experience yourself as unconditional love and live it."
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Steps to getting out of love addiction:
1. Believe that healthy love is possible.
2. Be willing to assess your love life honestly.
3. Accept that the only person you can change is you.
4. Connect the unhealthy aspects of your love life with your inner beliefs and past trauma.
5. Change your beliefs to those that encourage healthy love
6. Let go of fear.
7. Experience yourself as unconditional love and live it."
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Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: "Real love is not Addiction"
Wellness for Peace: Wellness Tip: "Real love is not Addiction": "Love Addiction is nothing but a misguided dependency on others in an attempt to fulfill unmet developmental needs. We often choose people similar to those in the past who did not meet our needs hoping this time we will end up satisfied. But because they are similar or we view them as similar, we end up feeling dissatisfied once more. A key element in identifying dependent love is how we feel when the person disapproves of us, disagrees with us, moves away from us, or threatens us. An escalation of behaviors occurs when the love object threatens to leave us psychologically or physically. Dependent love is always self-serving. It survives on psychological myths: “I will take care of your fears and inadequacies so you will take care of mine.” “If you fail me, I will do whatever it takes to keep you around.”" And this one is not healthy, it must be normalize to get you back to your senses.
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Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wellness Tip: Cure the Pain via Mind Detox: Objective Emotional Healing
Wellness for Peace: Cure the Pain via Mind Detox: Objective Emotional Healing: "“With diabetes, and other chronic illnesses such as arthritis, lung disease, hypertension, so many aspects of your life are affected. Depression and chronic illness are closely related.”
As a wellness practitioner myself, I have come to realize in my case studies that Pain has its root cause from the emotional trauma of a person that happened in the past. Most of the time, the traumatic experience was already forgotten. Due to the fact, that our brain is capable of shutting off painful memories as part of human survival.
However, the emotional trauma will later on manifest through the body. It may be shut off for a while in the memory but the body's reaction to it cannot be denied. Example, hypertension, has a root cause from the "unsettled anger" during the innocent years of the child probably caused by family feud, issues, violated rights, etc w/c the child during that time cannot understand why he/she is angry (he/she may not even know the term "angry" yet during that time) but the child feels it and the body reacts to it."
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As a wellness practitioner myself, I have come to realize in my case studies that Pain has its root cause from the emotional trauma of a person that happened in the past. Most of the time, the traumatic experience was already forgotten. Due to the fact, that our brain is capable of shutting off painful memories as part of human survival.
However, the emotional trauma will later on manifest through the body. It may be shut off for a while in the memory but the body's reaction to it cannot be denied. Example, hypertension, has a root cause from the "unsettled anger" during the innocent years of the child probably caused by family feud, issues, violated rights, etc w/c the child during that time cannot understand why he/she is angry (he/she may not even know the term "angry" yet during that time) but the child feels it and the body reacts to it."
Restlessness, tantrums, clinging, too much crying, etc. are some of the manifestations. And when the child grows up, it exhibits unruly behavior or extreme dangerous inclinations. He/she may also have addictive behaviors like being workaholic, smoking, drugs, or "daredevil" decisions.
If not properly address during the child's developmental years with an educated guardian, teachers or responsible parents, the child will resort to other means to ease the hurt.
This hurts will later on progress making the child more sickly when young until it develops into chronic pain as the child gets older and become an adult. It can produce sickness like diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, etc.
One way to heal the chronic pain is through emotional therapy by the use of creative exploration, for the adult to go back to his/her innocent years and recall the unfinished business. This therapy however, requires an experienced, open minded & objective "emotion healer" who can lead the adult to go through the process by opening the door of the mind, searching and cleaning it thoroughly, and leaving it clean.
In my opinion, I believe that the mind cannot be shut-off totally, not until your dead. All memories, good or bad, shows into a person's actions on a day to day basis, until he/she is living.
Everything is part of the person's composition already. What is needed is for the adult to understand why she/he react this way or that way on some matters. The "Mind Journey" is to know oneself deeply as a responsible adult through the objective guidance of the "emotion healer".
There are requirements however before an adult goes through the "Mind Journey" process. The adult must be intelligent, matured, and capable of logical thinking. She/he must also have full trust and confidence to his/her Emotion Healer to guide her/him in the journey to discuss intellectually the emotional release and experience.
Several sessions are given to finally detoxify the mind and to also give continuous learning of the adult to monitor his/her brain detoxification of thoughts and memories.
This is part of the wellness lifestyle as a discipline. Detoxification is mind & body.
For more info or if you want to attend my wellness workshops, e-mail me at wellnesspilipinas@yahoo.com.ph or call/text 0927.676.7738.
Wellness Workshops through Creative Exploration are done by group while Brain Journey for emotional healing is 1on1 session as scheduled.
Workshop venue/s in the Philippines.
All right then, if you can't reach me because you are not here, I am just a blog away. Click my name and you find me in google.
You are not far, you're just on the other side of the horizon...and we can always be connected..
Take care of yourself so you can take care of your loved one... for nothing is so sweet than being with the one you love...!
Your Wellness Teacher,
Zara Jane Juan
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wellness Tip for Peace: Food to Help Boost Your mood - YouTube
Food to Help Boost Your mood - YouTube: Are you angry, jealous, stressed, etc. click link to watch on Youtube (5min:41sec) "Here Kerri-Anne and I discuss some amazing research coming out linking the foods we eat with depression. What moods affect your cravings? What are the best foods to help combat depression. Find out here."
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Wellness Tips for Peace: Coping With Depression | ThirdAge
Strategies for Coping With Depression | ThirdAge: "Although depression is a serious illness that warrants expert medical treatment, you have plenty of options for contributing to your care and helping yourself climb out of your emotional rut. Click through for information about proven ways to feel more positive and begin to enjoy life again. But remember that even if your symptoms start to ease, you should never stop treatment without consulting your doctor."
source: http://www.thirdage.com/depression
source: http://www.thirdage.com/depression
Resist the Urge to Self-MedicateMany people, wittingly or unwittingly, try to mask depression by drinking or using recreational drugs. However, alcohol is a central nervous system depressant... Drugs can have the same effect... Don't let substance abuse derail your efforts to get better. Seek help and support if you need it.
Cut Back on the CaffeineA good jolt of java in the morning may help you get going, but too many cups of coffee can make you jittery and anxious. That in turn can contribute to your overall malaise.
Eat Fruits, Veggies, and Whole GrainsThe mind-body connection is very real. Treat yourself well by eating a healthy diet
Cut Back on the CaffeineA good jolt of java in the morning may help you get going, but too many cups of coffee can make you jittery and anxious. That in turn can contribute to your overall malaise.
Eat Fruits, Veggies, and Whole GrainsThe mind-body connection is very real. Treat yourself well by eating a healthy diet
Eat Fish Omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin B12 may help mitigate the mood fluctuations that are typical of depression. Fatty fish are a prime source of these valuable nutrients. Choose salmon, tuna, or mackerel
Choose Carbs That Boost SerotoninThe level of the feel-good brain chemical called serotonin is higher when you eat low-fat carbohydrates. Treat yourself to popcorn, a baked potato, or pasta for a delicious way to help beat depression.
Get Moving!Exercise is so valuable that you may not even need medication for depression if you're faithful about doing your workouts...Dance classes are a perfect example.
Don't Allow Pain to Drag You DownDepression actually makes pain worse. If you have arthritis or any other chronic condition, ask your doctor for help in managing the pain so you can break the cycle and get on track to wellness in every way.
Let the Sun Shine In!Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a debilitating version of depression that hits when you are not exposed to enough sunlight. .. And wherever you live, take advantage of the sunshine every time you can rather than holing up and nursing your mood in the dark.
Get CreativeUnleash your inner artist! Creative activities have long been known to be mood boosters
Take a Stress BreakMeditation really works. Try joining a yoga class and learning how to be mindful. Other options are listening to calming music, relaxing in a hot bath or just closing you eyes and going on a mental vacation. You'll feel calmer and more in control when you get back to the real world.
Reach Out to OthersA phenomenon called "helper's high" has been shown to activate your happy hormones, the endorphins. When you volunteer or do something for someone less fortunate, your whole sense of well-being is enhanced.
Get Enough Shut-EyeDisturbed sleep patterns are commonly associated with depression. You may sleep too much and not want to get out of bed in the morning or you may sleep fitfully and find yourself dragging the next day. Get yourself into a routine so that your body adjusts to the regular pattern of bedtime and wake up time. Also, don't watch stimulating TV shows or movies in the evening. Slow down and read or listen to music instead.
Be in Good CompanyDon't become a deliberate shut-in. The temptation not to get out and about may be strong when you're depressed but cutting yourself off from the people who love you and want to support you is a big mistake. Study after study has shown that those with a large circle of friends are the happiest.
Pet Your PetsFido and Fluffy really are your best friends! They adore you no matter what mood you're in and they think you're wonderful even when you're down on yourself. Stroking a furry head or better yet, having a good romp in the yard or the park can do wonders to lift your mood and your self-esteem. Also, taking care of your pets can help you feel worthwhile therefore less depressed
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